April 27, 2020

Fiat Skunkworks 2019

In February of 2019 Lou made a return visit to the Midwest Bayless Fiat skunkworks for some fine-tune adjustments to the Spider 2000.  I served in my standard capacity as chase car.  




The GPS routed us through Lebanon, Ohio and directly past the historic Golden Lamb Inn & Restaurant (background, below) on the drive to Columbus.




Tempting though it may be to stop there for a bite, on these visits to central and northern Ohio we save up our appetite for destruction of the all-you-can-shovel buffet at Der Dutchman.  Pro tip - don't leave Der Dutchman without a half pound of maple fudge. 

Somewhere outside of C-bus we stopped for fuel.  Exiting the gas station Lou was flagged down by a very animated - and large - human being;




This gentleman flipped his lid at the sight of the Spider 2000.  Evidently, this man and his brother used to repair cars and his favorite cars to work on and drive were Fiat 124s and Spider 2000s.  Dude was ecstatic.  He told Lou allllll about it.  He went on.....




.....and on.....




.....and on.....




.....and on, Mr Jiggy Fly.

We did eventually arrive at the skunkworks.  Outside and exposed to the elements were a couple of Spider bodies sans..... just about everything;






The shop was busy that day (as it is every day).   You couldn't swing a cat without hitting a Bertone-designed Fiat X1/9;




#proof




If Midwest Bayless has a niche specialty that differentiates, it's stuffing Honda/Acura engines into X1/9's and re-purposing them into race cars.







Roll the credits!

April 21, 2020

Infinity and Vanilla Frosted Doughnuts

Ah, yes.  Now..... where were we?


"Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts."


-----The ghost of Navy Lt. "Mac" MacReynolds to Thomas Magnum in the Magnum P.I. episode "Infinity and Jelly Doughnuts" (October 7th, 1987)




That quote from Magnum P.I. and my own personal-preference variant for the title serves as a fitting starting point for re-firing Heavy Artillery after a nearly two-year absence.  Nothing for you to be alarmed about.  Just the usual.  Increased workload.  Evolving family responsibilities concomitant with elderly parents.  We have all been there.  One day you're nosing around at the Fiat skunkworks and the next thing you know it's 2 years later and you find yourself in a global pandemic lockdown watching daily 4-hour marathons of Magnum P.I

Again, from Magnum P.I.;


There's a funny thing about paradise pandemics - every day is pretty much the same as every other day.  One slides into another.  Weeks become months.

-----Thomas Magnum narration for the episode "Pleasure Principle" (October 14th, 1987)

I am certain it comes as no surprise for you to learn that I have hundreds of photos from myriad adventures over the preceding 2 years and now, with State-imposed restrictions on my freedom of movement, I have the leisure time to sort through them all.  In the coming days and weeks you'll be treated to the sublime pleasure of reviewing what I have been up to since the summer of 2018.

Heavy Artillery may not be the COVID-19 under home arrest time-killer hero you wanted, but it is the global coronavirus pandemic prison state monotony crushing hero you need!

We'll begin by savoring the treats we are broadly prevented from enjoying by the free-market destroying ComIntern stooges in government and their life-preserving public health diktats.  My Dear Elderly Mother and The Old Master of the Turf appreciate your sacrifices.   Well, maybe not so much Mr B.  He isn't built to relax or unwind.  

We all have our favorite donuts and doughnut shoppes.  The locally-owned places are the best.  For those of you haven't yet sampled the baked goods at Graeter's, internationally known for their world-class ice cream, next time you stop in for a pint or 3 ask the gerbil behind the counter for a box of Glazed Happiness doughnuts.




Fair warning.  The donuts are larger than most and each one contains approximately 800,000% of the FDA daily recommended allowance of sugar.  This is a time of sacrifice, and you need to sacrifice your blood sugar levels and tooth enamel for one of these breakfast-time gems.

Now that Ox City has its own Graeter's, I've become a regular.




In June of 2019 I cooled off with a milkshake and a classic 1980's soundtrack.

Within days of il duce the Governor locking-away we freeborn Buckeye State residents in quarantine, Lou and I busted Mr B out of captivity for a coffee and donuts run!  Of course, you know who insisted on paying.




Lou rebuffed Mr B's offer to pay.  In rapid order, we had coffee cups and donuts scattered all about the cabin.







This was a welcome respite of sugary sustenance for all of us.  For the previous week, the shelves of the friendly local grocer were as bereft of food and necessities as the Commissioner of Major League Baseball is of ideas beneficial to the National Pastime.









At least OPD was on hand to quash the toilet paper riots.





The joke's on you!  The toilet paper aisle was wiped out.  I know.  Awful pun.  # sorry  #notsorry  

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "Three squares a day."

In the months leading up to our modern day plague, I had been meeting up with Mr B for weekly spaghetti and meatball dinners at one of our favorite out-of-the-way Italian cucinas.




August 29th, 2019....




.....November 19th, 2019.  Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, or something.  While we're at it, here are two more HA favorites to salivate over.





In August of 2018, I toured the Chocolate exhibit at the Cincinnati Museum Center.




"Chocolate Meets Sugar."  Easily a more important historical achievement than either the Gutenberg Press or electric light. 

Since the summer of 2018 holidays and birthdays were celebrated in which yummy food was consumed and delicious deserts were delighted in.




Thanksgiving 2018 at Lou's Palatial Estate was an elegant affair.




Jungle Jim's supplied the birthday cake for Lou last year.....




.....and my own birthday cake.





There was a good old fashioned quiet, candle-lit Christmas dinner in my kitchen in 2018.  Turkey, taters, stuffing and gravy on everything.  Washed down with ice cold Coca-Cola.  Things go better with Mexican Coke.


When you're imprisoned in your own home, every night can be Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.  What one misses more acutely now are those grand dining-out excursions, such as to the Hueston Woods Lodge last August.





Or a fireside dinner at The Lodge last November.






Note the artistic capture of the roaring fire reflected in my glasses.  Something always fires the light that gets in your eyes.

The Montgomery Inn is another restaurant sorely missed.






Did you spot the framed Wally Szczerbiak Miami University basketball jersey on the wall, at far right?

You know - you just know! - that over the past 2 years I hit the OG (as in Olive Garden) one or two dozen times.





Last fall My Dear Elderly Mother and I were joined, purely coincidentally, at the OG by my sister-in-law Alison and youngest niece Maria.




Here I was having some small trouble reading my menu, much to the entertainment of Maria.

Roll the credits!

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