Suddenly, Last Summer: 2017 Edition

Summer is the busiest season for the Genco Pura Olive Oil Company but that should not be interpreted as suggesting it's all work and no play around these parts.  Forthwith, a photographic review of my summertime leisure activities.

June 19th was a comfortable, bright and breezy afternoon.  Following a day at the office I treated myself to a Graeter's ice cream in the uptown parks.

The college students had by that date split town.  Sitting on a park bench in the sun-dappled shade it was a peaceful, pleasant end to my work day.

Living the dream!

Back on Curve Road, sun-dappled shade in the evening is a recurring theme;

The new neighbor, a very nice university professor, promptly threw up the Great Wall of Reily Township shortly after moving in.  This, as one might imagine, reduced the formerly expansive view of the surrounding woodlands.  On this day in late June it served as a broad canvas for the evening's fading sun rays.  [F/X cue; Jacob's Ladder]

Moles have invaded my yard and turned it into a replica of the WW1 Ypres battlefield.  If anybody has a sure-fire method of malicious extermination of said varmints, please submit your remedy.  Grazie!

On the 29th of June, Lou popped for a working lunch at McD's:

Sometimes, photographic opportunities present themselves.  I was powerless to resist.

July 1st exploded like the blast from a plutonium-fueled furnace.  

Concurrently, the Reds opened their gates to the barbarian blue hoard from Wrigleyville.

Jude having rebuffed my gracious invitation to attend in favor of spending the Independence Day holiday in the Hamptons in Michigan with the in-laws missed out on the sweltering heat and the Reds triumphant 5-3 victory against the Sons of Anson!

In the photo above, I captured a triumvirate of baseball legends.  The National League's MVP for 2010, Joey Votto, takes a daring lead off third base.  The National League's MVP for the 2016 season, Kris Bryant, mans third base.  Coaching third base is the man who holds the MLB all-time record for World Series batting average, Billy Hatcher.  Playing for the World Champion Cincinnati Reds in 1990, Billy Hatcher batted .750 (in 12 at-bats).

A hazy, hot and humid July 7th summer afternoon unleashed a tremendous thunderstorm upon SW Ohio.

Talk about bruised and sullen storm clouds, twilight premature, and thunderheads rumbling in a distant overture! [note; these are all lyrical references to Jacob's Ladder by Rush]  

I fled the city to take shelter back at The Ranch.  The power flickered, the local meteorologists removed their suit jackets, rolled up their sleeves and breathlessly gesticulated in front of their green screens.  Around the region, trees and tree limbs came crashing down in the wind, torrential rain briefly flooded low-lying areas.  The severe weather soon passed and I was back out on the road working late into the evening.  My far-ranging patrol that evening brought me a stunning scene; the trailing edge of the storm front backlit by the setting sun:

Two days later and the atmospherics - as observed on a quiet, bucolic stretch of Indian Creek Rd - were as different as could be imagined:

The National League's 2015 MVP, Bryce Harper, brought his traveling roadshow into the Great American Ball Park on July 14th.

In the next photo (below), the 2010 and 2015 NL MVPs photographed together:

The Reds didn't win that night.  I had nachos with cheese and salsa.

For her July birthday, my youngest niece opted for a low-key, inexpensive birthday dinner.  At Steak n' Shake!  Yeah, boyyyy!!!  

I had fries.  Lots and lots of fries.

  

Coming to a Xmas card near you!  My sister-in-law Alison took the photo and added the artistic flourishes.  Somebody should nominate this for Time/Life's Photograph of the Year.  

The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm stopped by HQ one afternoon in late July and over the course of our wide-ranging conversation asked, almost randomly, if the Cow Crossing road sign was fact or a figment of some faceless bureaucrats imagination.  All bureaucrats are faceless, right?

Immediately after work, I jumped into the cockpit of the TDS MINI Cooper Mobile Tactical Unit and headed for rural-most Reily Township to snap a selfie with the fabled road sign (having first checked my surroundings, observing no traffic I activated the 4-way hazard lights and placed the car in park).  

When the legend becomes the fact, selfie with the legend!

Lou recently installed GPS tracking systems in the TDS fleet of vehicles.  As I was taking this photo, Big Brother [indeed!] sent me a text message.  Busted!  He wanted to know why I was wasting precious 93-octane fuel.

On Labor Day Eve (is that a thing?), the odometer on the MINI rolled 375,000 miles:

Mid-July through mid-August was mostly a blur.  On the 19th of August, Mr B organized a B Team Syndicate outing to Miami Valley Gaming for a day at the (simulcast) races.

There was good racing and, for our own part, suspect handicapping that day at both Saratoga and Del Mar.  I picked the most Saratoga winners that day [2], equaling - as usual - the best effort by the panel of experts at the Daily Racing Form (and besting two-thirds of 'em). 

I did some nifty handicapping in selecting Hello Don Julio to win.  Yeah yeah yeah.  I know.  Hello Don Julio was the 3-1 in the Morning Line second betting choice.   Bear in mind, he was 0 for 2 lifetime on the turf at Saratoga, including finishing well back in his most recent race.  That was a Grade 2 race and for this race he was dropping down in class.  But aside from two lifetime races, he always broke from an outside post (and was consistently running wide, disadvantageously, turning for home).  He ran well in those two races, breaking from the 3- and 4-hole, and for this day's race he would break from the rail.  I figured that was the critical element.  I figured correctly.  The DRF guys didn't.

My wagering efforts for the Del Mar race card were less sterling.  Let's ignore that.

On Monday the 21st..... well, you know:

We had a cloudless, clear sky and 91% of totality.  It was awesome.   According to them there fancy-pants astronomists from NASA, SW Ohio will experience a full solar eclipse in the year 2024.  Book your reservations now!

Jude arranged for me and The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm to accompany him and his dad to the Reds-Cubs game on the 24th of August.  Jude was suspiciously non-committal as to just where the seats were located.  Then Jude bailed out on us, taking  - evidently - Jim with him.  And so it was just The Comparable Joe Wilhelm, Mr Heavy Artillery.... and a voluminous multitude of the barbarian blue horde from Wrigleyville.

On the drive down to the Great American Tilt Yard, serious consideration was given to swapping the seats with a broker but, in the end, we kept the seats.  They were pretty awesome!

About 20 rows up from the visitor's dugout, on the aisle.  Jude hooked us up!

In the photo above, Middletown's own Kyle "Schwarbs" Schwarber bats in the 1st Inning against Sal "no relation to Claudio" Romano, Joey Votto ready to field a hot smash at first base.

The Cubs launched a failed preemptive strike in the 1st.  Above, the Cubbies' Anthony Rizzo bats with Kris Bryant taking a lead off first base.  

Of course, the real star was Joey Votto!

Votto, here (above) facing Jake Arrieta, bats in the 1st.  Later, Votto danced off first base:

These days, Reds fans are excited about the rookie prospect Jesse Winker.....

..... who Dat Manager BP insists on parking on the bench.

We arrived at the ballpark early enough to grab a Frisch's Big Boy and fries and eat them at a leisurely pace.  Good thing as they give you a mountain of fries.  I looked for a Coca-Cola that had my name on it but I've yet to find one that reads "Mr Heavy Artillery."  So instead, I settled for something that would be non-controversial in today's social and cultural climate:

Dadgummit!

The carbonation had me so dyspeptic (or maybe that was the obnoxious Cubs fans) that I feared my Big Boy might rise again.  I wonder if some Liberal snowflake artwork destroying Talibani vigilante mob seated near me would have considered my cola a Confederate monument?  I so hoped that they would if only to injury their ridiculously fragile psyche.

In needs to be said here, as a means to forestall any vigilante mob bent on retribution against Heavy Artillery, that as a lifelong Ohioan, a descendant of two Union Army veterans, a student and admirer of U.S Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman, an Irish-Italian whose own ancestors had to band together throughout one dark night in Springfield, Ohio more than 100 years ago in order to prevent the KKK from torching their Catholic church, that I have no time for anything C.S.A.-centric.   To me, the Stars and Bars is no different than the Rising Sun flag of Imperial Japan; both flags declared war against my flag and drew American blood in two long and bitter wars (observing neither flag today sends me into a frothy lather).  That said, I also don't like vigilante mobs and anarchy but I do like order and the Rule of Law.  If there are Confederate monuments on public lands - such as the lawn of a county courthouse -  or being maintained by public funds and the sentiments of the local populace runs counter to their continued presence, have them removed.  But I question the true motives of those vigilantes who employ mob rule and the Talibani tactics of destroying artwork in the name of a nebulous, purposely ill-defined and proportionally insignificant cause.  Those same vigilantes who will proclaim that art should be defended, even art that is deemed by some or many in the community to be offensive, now feel no compunction about themselves donning a mask and destroying public property, monuments and statues.

The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm joined me on the last day of August for a day game versus the New York Metropolitans.  

My source deep within the Reds organization, code named Boss, joined us for an inning.  Among the lighter, humorous conversation we also shared what little information we knew of the perilous situation of Hutch and his folks in SE Texas.  We're all thinking about Hutch and are hoping for the best after Hurricane Harvey.

That afternoon I picked out a Coca-Cola that signaled my concern and hope for Hutch and his folks.  

The Reds won, again.  Joey Votto homered, but was the star of the game for a much more important reason.  If you don't like Joey Votto, you hate life.  And are probably an unrepentant Confederate sympathizer.

This season at GABP I am 2-0 in games that The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm attended with me.  I'm 2-0 in games against the Chicago Cubs.  I'm 2-0 in games that Jude ditched me.  I'm on fire!

Shameless plug;  As the pennant races heat up, you should only be watching MLB Network for the next 2 months.

Roll the credits!

Pete Rose Sculpture #fakenews

This past Saturday the Cincinnati Reds dedicated a statue sculpture on Crosley Terrace of Pete Edward Rose.  I was there and this is your eyewitness, first-hand report.

Except I wasn't there and, further, there will be no report of the event here.

You shouldn't read anything into that.  I had to work.  Plus, I didn't want to stand around all afternoon on my broken foot.  And believe me, if you've heard one rambling, anachronistic, bawdy, semi-coherent Pete Rose speech you've heard 'em all.

However, I was at the Reds-Dodgers game on Friday night, so that's what you get here.

On the way to the ballpark I stopped for a chicken club sandwich at Chick-fil-A and was greeted by this #throwback sight:

Your eyes do not deceive you!  That is a vintage Pokey Reese replica jersey.  Dat Dude PR was dat dude before Dat Dude BP (and before Twitter)... and my man Pokey could pick it better than Dat Dude Showboat, too.  #preach

It was with some trepidation for what variety of misery the Dodgers were going to inflict upon the Redlegs that I proceeded down Colerain Avenue.  

#theRedsgotmelike Woozy.

Does Dat Manager BP feel me?

Pregame, the Reds honored the NL Player of the Week Scooter Gennett for his historic 4 home run game.  I was there!  And by "there" I mean watching from the comfort of my couch, snacking on salted cashews.  #alternativefacts

Among the gifts Scooter found himself lavished with was.... a scooter.  #yolo

What made the cringe-worthy scooter presentation enjoyable was the sight of Reds Hall of Famer Tom "Mr Perfect" Browning riding in from the outfield on said scooter and making the (in)formal presentation.

Since fighting like a Roman gladiator for my Joc Pederson All-Star Game Home Run Derby baseball back in 2015 , I root for Joc to become a star and increase the monetary value of my rare item.

#helpabrotherout

.198/.309/.310?!  Dang!

Soon enough, the Reds rolled over for their 7th straight loss:

And it was bring on the Friday Night Fireworks presented by just put me out of my misery!

The fireworks were allegedly set to the soundtrack of Peter Edward's playing years (1963-1986).  Reds faithful were subjected to the superfluous, utterly gratuitous stylings of DJ GetARealJob.  Sample;

She's got a ticket to riiiiide [*wicky wicky woop*] and she don't care!

That made 35,613 of us that didn't care.

Among the Pax Americana musical selections was this staple of FM radio:

When I spot something Bruce-related I like to share it with Heavy Artillery's resident Boss Aficionado, Johnny Dubs.  Shortly before the inauguration this past January, I spied a photo making the rounds on the interwebz and shot it to JW via text.  I included a lyrical footnote with the photo, to which John responded in kind:

..... you probably know the rest.  #prolly

The Reds may have me woozy this season, but there are good reasons to go down to the Great American Tilt Yard.  Namely, the stars on other teams.  Earlier this year I got to see the sublime Adam Jones when the Baltimore Orioles steamrolled into town.  I got a photo of Jones and Joey Votto together, two future Hall of Famers:

Similarly, I photographed Joey Votto batting against CC Sabathia when the Jahnkees brought their fetid circus to River City:

The arrival of the Bronx Bombers drew every fair weather, Evil Empire-loving degenerate out from under their rocks to see the game.  Except they didn't watch the game:

This candy pinstriper in his Yanks ballcap played games on his phone for the whole 5 innings he stuck around.  I guess he had to catch the 4 Train back to midtown.  #whatevs

Back in Butler County, the next day, I caught a passing glimpse of this mural of Hamilton Joe Nuxhall painted on the side of Clark's Sporting Goods:

Speaking of Nuxy, Cooperstown Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Brennaman shines brightest when the Reds are riding the #strugglebus.  Grumpy Marty makes for fantastic radio listening!  

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The local talk radio airwaves were abuzz last week in speculation that this weekend's  Hit King statue sculpture dedication might be the last opportunity for the Reds to honor Pete at the ballyard.  Afterall, the theory postulated, Pete has had his number retired, been inducted into the team Hall of Fame, now the statue sculpture.  In recent summer's the Reds have honored the 1975 Big Red Machine, the 1976 Big Red Machine.  Pete has been in attendance for similar individual honors for Johnny Bench, Joe Morgan, Tony Perez, Sparky Anderson..... plus, you know..... Pete is getting older.  What else is there?!

My personal friend and Cincinnati Reds owner Robert (he lets me call him "Bob") Castellini will always find ways to pay tribute to Pete Rose for two reasons;  1) It's the right thing to do, and 2) It guarantees a sell-out.

Bear in mind, the Big Red Machine wasn't just honored last year for their 40th anniversary.  They BRM was honored, at least, as far back as 2000 for their 25th anniversary.  So there exists more honorific opportunities associated with the Machine.

Allow me to list a few others, just in case Bob Castellini is reading this;

1) 2018 will be the 40th anniversary of Hit #3000

2) 2018 will be the 40th anniversary of Pete's 44-game hit streak

3) 2020 will be the 35th anniversary of breaking Ty Cobb's record

So don't fret about seeing Pete down at the ol' ball orchard.  #chillax

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Andy "Coach" Hughes passed along this link to an article and podcast about ballpark development that my baseball fan readership might find interesting.  Bonus;  soundbites from Hall of Fame broadcaster and voice of This Week In Baseball Mel Allen.  How about that!

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Responding to the Holy Bull tribute, a loyal subscriber asked whether we have today an active thoroughbred race horse that is a talented and awe-inspiring as Holy Bull.  

Why, yes!

In 2016, a unraced three-year old colt named Arrogate made his maiden debut in mid-April.  He went off the favorite but finished third.  Under the eligibility requirements for the Kentucky Derby, Arrogate's one lifetime start (and third-place finish) was not sufficient for him to qualify.  Arrogate won his next start, and then won the start after that - this time facing older horses for the first time.  Then he beat older horses his next time out, too.  Arrogate came to national prominence when, in August, he won the Grade 1 Travers Stakes by 13 lengths beating that year's Preakness Stakes winner (Creator) and Belmont Stakes winner (Exaggerator).  His winning time in the Travers broke a Saratoga track record that stood for almost 40 years.  Arrogate concluded his 2016 campaign with a victory in the $5 million dollar Breeders' Cup Classic, defeating the [then] #1 ranked race horse in the world, California Chrome - himself a past winner of the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes and a dozen other stakes races (and a two-time Horse of the Year awardee).  Full disclosure; I had big $$$ on Chromie that night.

In the aftermath of Arrogate's incredible 2016 campaign, I ran across a quote in The Blood-Horse that was so stunning in it's encapsulation of his success (to that point) that I sent it to astute horse player Boss for his own edification: 

In 2016 Arrogate didn't just defeat a multitude of graded stakes winners, he annihilated them.

Arrogate was named the American champion three-year old horse and leap-frogged California Chrome to become the #1 ranked horse in the world by the International Federation of Horseracing Authorities.  Yes, that's a real thing.

Arrogate returned to the track this past January for a rematch with California Chrome - Chromie making the final start of his glorious career - in the inaugural $12 million dollar Pegasus World Cup (the world's richest race).  Chrome was pulled up to prevent an injury, Arrogate set a Gulfstream Park track record on his way to a five length victory.  Arrogate made his next start in the world's second richest race when he traveled abroad for the first time, going to Dubai for the $10 million dollar Dubai World Cup.

This is the race [linked below] that you need to watch - and replay - to fully appreciate the greatness of Arrogate.

Racing without benefit of the usual race day medications available to American race horses, and breaking from the gate in a steady rain and brisk wind, Arrogate proceeded to:

--- Break from the starting gate in last place,

--- Get checked hard by Jockey Mike Smith,

--- Go three-wide around the first turn,

--- Swing 8-wide down the backstretch,

--- Enter the final turn in 10th, 4- or 5-wide,

--- Move inside horses,

--- Launch an explosive move turning for home,

--- Get bumped by another horse at the top of the homestretch,

--- Pass the leader under a hand ride,

--- Cruise under the wire still under a hand ride!

Arrogate spotted the early leader 10 more lengths at the start, he covered significantly more ground than the race leaders and - this is important so I'll repeat it - cruised to the lead, as I said, "under a hand ride" meaning jockey Mike Smith had ceased using the whip (or "put away the whip") because it wasn't necessary.  Arrogate, despite all his troubles and all the additional ground he covered, was going to win the Dubai World Cup and win easy.

People who are knowledgeable about horse racing will tell you, and I fully concur, that in winning the Breeders' Cup Classic, Pegasus World Cup and Dubai World Cup, in beating the quality of fields that were entered in those races, and in winning in the ways that he did (coming from last, going wide, setting track records) that even if Arrogate never wins another race he is already in the conversation of greatest thoroughbred race horses of all-time.

In case there was any doubt in your mind, in just 8 lifetime starts (7 consecutive victories) and just barely into his four-year old campaign Arrogate is already North America's highest-earning race horse (over $17 million dollars to date).

Man o' War, War Admiral, Seabiscuit, Citation, Secretariat, Cigar..... remember the "Free Money Express," Wise Dan?  Enjoy the phenomenon that is Arrogate.

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Finally, the Memorial Day weekend HA post about the Monaco Grand Prix must have sparked a nationwide interest in the race.  NBC Sports proclaimed it the most-watched Formula 1 race in U.S. history.

As a bonus for HA readership, watch this onboard film from 1957 of Juan Manuel Fangio - F1's first great driver - testing a Formula 1 Maserati in Italy.  The dude rolls up in a sweet Mercedes and jumps into the race car wearing his street clothes (slacks and a t-shirt; no fire suit).  The narration is classic mid-century stuff; Fangio, with his iron self-control and uncanny skill met [the] demand with contemptuous ease.

I shared this Fangio film with resident HA F1 expert Kuertz and he responded with his own sweet onboard film, but from Le Mans in 1956.  Kuertz' Le Mans clip has the value-added aspect of having the driver narrate from behind the wheel.  He looks like a Star Wars TIE Fighter pilot in the process.

Kuertz has a Le Mans fixation, he also thinks Steve McQueen's 1971 movie Le Mans is superior to James Garner's 1966 motion picture Grand Prix but, in thinking this, Kuertz has made a rare error in judgement.

James Garner > Steve McQueen

#truth

Roll the credits!

Ave Atque Vale; Holy Bull

Holy Bull, 26 years old - my favorite living racehorse - had to be put down today at his Lexington, Kentucky farm due to the "infirmities of old age."  You can read the news article as published this morning at The Blood-Horse, titled "Racing Loses One of its Greats: Holy Bull Dead at 26" by clicking here.  The farm's press release, with stirring video tribute, can be found here.

Holy Bull was the greatest thoroughbred that I personally saw in action when he raced in and won easily the 1994 Blue Grass Stakes at Keeneland.  The B Team Syndicate were together in the Keeneland grandstand that afternoon, me still a college undergraduate and with a sizable WIN and PLACE wager on Holy Bull, and we three were unanimous in our astonishment at how alertly he broke from - seemingly through - the starting gate and also at just how well he ran that late April afternoon in Lexington. 

I still have my Daily Racing Form from that day, complete with my extensive handicapping notes, sealed up and put away in storage.  Funny, those odd things we treasure.

That Holy Bull didn't run well in the slop at Churchill Downs for the Kentucky Derby some three weeks later and took down with him my $100 straight WIN wager (placed under the Twin Spires by Lou who was there to witness the spectacle in person) on that gloomy day of torrential rains never dampened my love for the big gray colt.  This demonstrates - I think - a strong, deeply felt sentiment from a cash-strapped college student!

The blistering, unforgiving 1994 Travers Stakes stands as one of Holy Bull's two greatest triumphs.  Bonus points for a great race call by track announcer Tom Durkin.  The other came when defeating a Kentucky Derby winner and a Belmont Stakes winner in the same thrilling race (1994 Woodward Stakes);  "Holy Bull toying with the best horses in training!" [Tom Durkin, again]

Steve Haskin's own tribute, "Farewell to a Friend," was published today by The Blood-Horse and can be found here.

Hail and Farewell, Holy Bull!

Epsom Derby 2017 DVR Alert

The sporting folks at NBCSN will broadcast the 238th running of the Epsom Derby tomorrow (Saturday June 3rd) morning at 10:30am Eastern Time [press release here].  Post time is 11:30am.  Check your local listings.

The greatest jockey in the history of mankind, Lanfranco "Frankie" Dettori, is aboard the morning line second betting choice, a colt named Cracksman.

The Epsom Derby is the second jewel in the English Triple Crown.  It is the race upon which our own Kentucky Derby is modeled.  Like the Kentucky Derby (and our American Triple Crown) the race is open only to three-year old horses.  For those of you who watch/wager on the Breeders' Cup, some of tomorrow's Epsom Derby entrants may very well make an appearance at the Breeders' Cup later this autumn.

Here is the promotional advertisement designed to stir your interest in the Epsom Derby.

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The Blood-Horse published this week a recount of a true-life mystery/scandal surrounding trainer Tom Smith - the legendary trainer of Seabiscuit - and an accusation that he was doping his stable of race horses (post-Seabiscuit) with performance enhancing drugs.  Or was he?  If you enjoy mysteries in general or court-room dramas and clandestine stake-outs then this story is for you.  In the end, despite an absolute outcome, one must draw their own conclusion as to whether any offense actually took place.  You can read the story titled "Silent Tom's Atomizer" here.

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Long-time subscriber Kuertz asked yesterday via back-channel communications about a tribute in recognition of an alleged accomplishment by a third-rate pop band known commonly [?] as the Liverpudlian Four.  Fat chance, pal!  Those guys were, to borrow a well-worn phrase from the Round Mound of Rebound, Sir Charles Barkley, turrible.  This is as close as you'll ever come to seeing a reference to the Crummy Four on these inciteful digital pages of Heavy Artillery.

Roll the credits!