Green Diamond Gallery, 2017

October 14th, a warm and sunny Saturday here in SW Ohio, the Green Diamond Gallery hosted an open house.  For a minimal cover charge, the general public was welcome to tour the Montgomery baseball museum which normally requires a $2,400 annual membership to gain entry.  This was a return engagement for Lou and me.  Our first visit was recounted here in the digital pages of Heavy Artillery last year in On Days Like These; October 2016.

Herewith, a few items of note which did not appear in the previous recitation.

Among the two dozen Babe Ruth autographed memorabilia on exhibit [!!!], this Ruth-signed baseball stands out as the best example and is easily the best example I've been fortunate to observe firsthand.

It is possible, I'll allow, that I may have seen a comparable Ruth-signed ball when I visited the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown way back in the 1980s but I don't now recall that.  It's safe to say that, outside of Cooperstown, you would be hard-pressed to encounter a more impressive example.

On the subject of being hard-pressed to find better examples are these stunning, early-period autographs of Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams which are elegant, highly-stylized and nothing like that which you'll find today up for auction on websites, in auction houses or for sale in your local sports memorabilia shop:

Good luck finding a Joe DiMaggio autograph with this much flourish on the Joe.

For an autograph that is all flourish and no discernible signature, check out this example:

Give up?  That is the signature of a character named John T. Brush who, among other accomplishments, owned the Cincinnati Reds from 1891-1902.

There are a multitude of strikingly good signatures on display at the Green Diamond Gallery.  Hall of Famer Johnny Mize was consistently good at making a crisp, attractive signature.  In last year's blog post I shared a photo of Thomas Edison's beautiful signature.   Former Reds second baseman (1952-59, 1964) has a great signature:

Very simple yet artistic!  Minimalist, one might suggest.

The Green Diamond Gallery has on exhibit countless authentic, game-used memorabilia.  Among the collection are a wide variety of tickets to historic games:

In the photo above, reflecting my white shorts and turquoise golf shirt, is a ticket to the Yankees game of July 4, 1939.  On that date, in pregame ceremonies at old Yankee Stadium, Lou Gehrig gave his immortal "Luckiest Man" speech.  Of course I could not have been there that day in 1939, but to think that I could be so close this artifact - this ticket - for that historic event brings me as close as is possible.  Astounding.

Some of the memorabilia exhibited are so rare as to be virtually unknown to all but the most informed researcher:

Who knew that in 1918 Hall of Famer Honus Wagner owned an automobile garage?  Was that sales?  Service?   Both?   And in 1918?!  That puts Hans at the vangaurd of the automobile revolution.  Incredible.  I particularly enjoy seeing this iteration of an old phone number; Bell Phone 197-R.  Add to it the bold signature at the bottom and this piece, to steal a phrase from Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Brennaman, has my eyes spinning like a dial telephone.

A baseball fan can - and does - spend uninterrupted hours investigating the Green Diamond Gallery's collection.  After an hour or four of being dumbfounded by so much rare and exceptional memorabilia, one almost (but not quite) becomes blase toward some displays:

Autographed bats and baseballs by every individual member of the 500 Home Run Club?  Ho-hum.

Photograph signed by DiMaggio, Mantle and Williams?  Yawn.

OK, OK.  It should be obvious here that I exaggerate.  A baseball fan would never become so immune to items such as these on exhibit, as demonstrated by the mere fact that I photographed them, to dismiss their special nature.  And one cannot feel anything other than gratitude for having the rare honor of experiencing this collection in person. 

The Green Diamond Gallery continues acquiring memorabilia, including memorabilia from more modern and current players:

Jay Bruuuuuce and Kris Bryant.

Ryan Sandbag and Neon Deion Primetime $anders.  How could you not love Deion?  To this day, Deion Sanders remains one of the all-time favorite Cincinnati Reds of My Dear Elderly Mother.

The general public was granted a mere 4 hours to tour the Gallery on that October Saturday.  Afterward, Lou and I walked the two blocks up Montgomery Road to have lunch at the fabled Montgomery Inn.  We'd been looking forward to that all week!

But they were closed.

Evidently, the Montgomery Inn is open only for dinner on Saturdays.

We settled for another fine establishment, midway between the Green Diamond Gallery and the Montgomery Inn, called Stone Creek Dining Company.  We were shown to a table with an expansive view of the intersection of Main St and Cooper Rd "in the heart of Old Montgomery," as the saying goes.

Immediately to the left of this serene scene, on the opposite corner, was an old two-story red structure.  From our table, we could see (but not read) an historical marker affixed to the siding.  After lunch, we took a stroll to educate ourselves as to why this venerable old building was historically significant.

This, we discovered, was the Yost Tavern.  I didn't capture it from the best angle.  The Yost Tavern was built in 1805.  For perspective, Ohio achieved statehood in 1803.  Around these parts, that qualifies it as being ancient.  Nearly pre-historic.

Roll the credits!

Red Privilege

One afternoon early in September I found myself at #newTHS.  The sun was shining brightly to the west while a storm was a-brewin' to the east:

We had in September our share of rain and storms remnant from the various hurricanes which wrought havoc all around the Gulf coast:

Perhaps there's nothing so terrible as being stuck for several long, excruciating minutes (for at least, like, 4 whole minutes) at a railroad crossing where there is no train:

With the Reds season grinding to a remorseless halt, I crammed in as much River City MLB action as practicable.  There were Friday Night Fireworks games:

There was a Meet the Rookies event in the Champions Club for we privileged Reds season ticket holders:

There was a complimentary tour (more #RedsPrivilege) of the Reds Hall of Fame and its ongoing Red & Bronze exhibit:

There was Los Rojos béisbol en la televisión when I couldn't get down to the Great American Ball Yard (mucho triste):

Vive la Votto!

There was a day game in the cheap seats with Lou:

[photo credit; Lou]

During the game I wore out the kids seated in front of us with my dead-on imitations of Reds ballpark announcer Joe Zerhusen.

There were ballpark sights seldom glimpsed by the public:

Observe (above) the pallets of bobbleheads ready for giveaway once the gates opened to the general public later in the day. 

The highlight of my September ballpark experiences came on the last home game of the 2017 season, Fan Appreciation Day (pictured, above).  Mr B's hometown Boston Red Sox were in town and so I treated the big guy to his first-ever visit to The Handlebar.  

We feasted sumptuously on what we referred to as "our breakfast of champions."  Hotcakes, bacon, coffee and.... oh yeah, prime rib!

One of the privileges of admission to The Handlebar is that it's an all-you-can-shovel buffet.

Personally I made three trips through the pancakes-and-bacon line.  Later, the breakfast foods were removed (there also was an assortment of muffins, rolls and other baked goodies, eggs any style and so much more) and the lunch fare was introduced.  Hot dogs shared space with the prime rib and - to my surprise - the ballpark franks proved to be wildly popular.  More so than the prime rib.  The fools!  Don't tell Mr B's cardiologist, but I helped myself to more than a few servings of prime rib.

The Handlebar also provides unlimited coffee, tea and soft drinks and, upon entering, the staff hands each patron a voucher for a free alcoholic drink.  

Wait.... did I say "a voucher?"  As in just one voucher?   I meant to say the staff hands each patron a half-dozen vouchers for free booze!

There we sat, Mr B and me, in The Handlebar with our combined windfall of 12 vouchers for free liquor..... and we don't drink.  Oh, the humanity!

ProTip; If you arrive at The Handlebar early, and you enjoy adult beverages, you can (almost) get your money's worth.  Especially if there is a lengthy rain delay.

Seated at the next table over from us was "Mr Perfect," Tom Browning:

The Old Master of the Turf used The Handlebar buffet as a practice run for the Breeders' Cup buffet he'll attack in November.  He even wore his red 2004 Breeders' Cup t-shirt that he bought when he attended that year's event (run at Lone Star Park in Texas).

I haven't attended every Fan Appreciation Day game in my lifetime (who could?), but this much I can say; despite the Reds giving away dozens of prizes each half-inning, never in my life had I ever won anything.

That is, until this year!

In the first inning my seat location/number appeared on the JumboTron and I raced down to claim my prize.  

No, not an autographed baseball.  

No, not a $50 gift card for Montgomery Inn.  

No, not free tickets to Opening Day.

I won a lifetime supply [slight exaggeration] of Gorilla Glue!

Inside the box was all manner of glue products, varieties of adhesive tape, plus a handful of gift cards for Chick-fil-A and a Gorilla Glue t-shirt (size XL).  Score!

The Reds held their annual Meet the Rookies event on the same weekend as Cincinnati's world famous Oktoberfest Zinzinnati.  Myself having never attended Oktoberfest Zinzinnati, I persuaded Lou to investigate the goings-on.

My one-word review; Underwhelming.

800 varieties of specially-brewed Oktoberfest beer, German-heritage foods in general, and polka music (both sincere and ironic... except for this) are not in my wheelhouse.  Allegedly the good folks from Schmidt's Sausage Haus were there, somewhere, in the melee with a stand selling their yummy brand of sausages.  On occasion, when The B Team Syndicate used to frequent Scioto Downs, just outside Columbus, we would patronize Schmidt's for dinner.  I had hoped to grab some grub for lunch and send a selfie to Mad Mahler (also an aficionado of Schmidt's) but, alas, the Schmidt's burghers were not to be found.

October ushers in playoff baseball, and this year we watched in Lou's newly renovated basement man cave:

That's Lerxst's Lou's 12-string electric acoustic guitar in the corner.  The zebra-print blanket belongs to my nieces.  Honest, it does!

Late-night ballgames lead invariably to late-night rock radio on the drive back to The Ranch:

Roll the credits!

Suddenly, Last Summer: 2017 Edition

Summer is the busiest season for the Genco Pura Olive Oil Company but that should not be interpreted as suggesting it's all work and no play around these parts.  Forthwith, a photographic review of my summertime leisure activities.

June 19th was a comfortable, bright and breezy afternoon.  Following a day at the office I treated myself to a Graeter's ice cream in the uptown parks.

The college students had by that date split town.  Sitting on a park bench in the sun-dappled shade it was a peaceful, pleasant end to my work day.

Living the dream!

Back on Curve Road, sun-dappled shade in the evening is a recurring theme;

The new neighbor, a very nice university professor, promptly threw up the Great Wall of Reily Township shortly after moving in.  This, as one might imagine, reduced the formerly expansive view of the surrounding woodlands.  On this day in late June it served as a broad canvas for the evening's fading sun rays.  [F/X cue; Jacob's Ladder]

Moles have invaded my yard and turned it into a replica of the WW1 Ypres battlefield.  If anybody has a sure-fire method of malicious extermination of said varmints, please submit your remedy.  Grazie!

On the 29th of June, Lou popped for a working lunch at McD's:

Sometimes, photographic opportunities present themselves.  I was powerless to resist.

July 1st exploded like the blast from a plutonium-fueled furnace.  

Concurrently, the Reds opened their gates to the barbarian blue hoard from Wrigleyville.

Jude having rebuffed my gracious invitation to attend in favor of spending the Independence Day holiday in the Hamptons in Michigan with the in-laws missed out on the sweltering heat and the Reds triumphant 5-3 victory against the Sons of Anson!

In the photo above, I captured a triumvirate of baseball legends.  The National League's MVP for 2010, Joey Votto, takes a daring lead off third base.  The National League's MVP for the 2016 season, Kris Bryant, mans third base.  Coaching third base is the man who holds the MLB all-time record for World Series batting average, Billy Hatcher.  Playing for the World Champion Cincinnati Reds in 1990, Billy Hatcher batted .750 (in 12 at-bats).

A hazy, hot and humid July 7th summer afternoon unleashed a tremendous thunderstorm upon SW Ohio.

Talk about bruised and sullen storm clouds, twilight premature, and thunderheads rumbling in a distant overture! [note; these are all lyrical references to Jacob's Ladder by Rush]  

I fled the city to take shelter back at The Ranch.  The power flickered, the local meteorologists removed their suit jackets, rolled up their sleeves and breathlessly gesticulated in front of their green screens.  Around the region, trees and tree limbs came crashing down in the wind, torrential rain briefly flooded low-lying areas.  The severe weather soon passed and I was back out on the road working late into the evening.  My far-ranging patrol that evening brought me a stunning scene; the trailing edge of the storm front backlit by the setting sun:

Two days later and the atmospherics - as observed on a quiet, bucolic stretch of Indian Creek Rd - were as different as could be imagined:

The National League's 2015 MVP, Bryce Harper, brought his traveling roadshow into the Great American Ball Park on July 14th.

In the next photo (below), the 2010 and 2015 NL MVPs photographed together:

The Reds didn't win that night.  I had nachos with cheese and salsa.

For her July birthday, my youngest niece opted for a low-key, inexpensive birthday dinner.  At Steak n' Shake!  Yeah, boyyyy!!!  

I had fries.  Lots and lots of fries.

  

Coming to a Xmas card near you!  My sister-in-law Alison took the photo and added the artistic flourishes.  Somebody should nominate this for Time/Life's Photograph of the Year.  

The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm stopped by HQ one afternoon in late July and over the course of our wide-ranging conversation asked, almost randomly, if the Cow Crossing road sign was fact or a figment of some faceless bureaucrats imagination.  All bureaucrats are faceless, right?

Immediately after work, I jumped into the cockpit of the TDS MINI Cooper Mobile Tactical Unit and headed for rural-most Reily Township to snap a selfie with the fabled road sign (having first checked my surroundings, observing no traffic I activated the 4-way hazard lights and placed the car in park).  

When the legend becomes the fact, selfie with the legend!

Lou recently installed GPS tracking systems in the TDS fleet of vehicles.  As I was taking this photo, Big Brother [indeed!] sent me a text message.  Busted!  He wanted to know why I was wasting precious 93-octane fuel.

On Labor Day Eve (is that a thing?), the odometer on the MINI rolled 375,000 miles:

Mid-July through mid-August was mostly a blur.  On the 19th of August, Mr B organized a B Team Syndicate outing to Miami Valley Gaming for a day at the (simulcast) races.

There was good racing and, for our own part, suspect handicapping that day at both Saratoga and Del Mar.  I picked the most Saratoga winners that day [2], equaling - as usual - the best effort by the panel of experts at the Daily Racing Form (and besting two-thirds of 'em). 

I did some nifty handicapping in selecting Hello Don Julio to win.  Yeah yeah yeah.  I know.  Hello Don Julio was the 3-1 in the Morning Line second betting choice.   Bear in mind, he was 0 for 2 lifetime on the turf at Saratoga, including finishing well back in his most recent race.  That was a Grade 2 race and for this race he was dropping down in class.  But aside from two lifetime races, he always broke from an outside post (and was consistently running wide, disadvantageously, turning for home).  He ran well in those two races, breaking from the 3- and 4-hole, and for this day's race he would break from the rail.  I figured that was the critical element.  I figured correctly.  The DRF guys didn't.

My wagering efforts for the Del Mar race card were less sterling.  Let's ignore that.

On Monday the 21st..... well, you know:

We had a cloudless, clear sky and 91% of totality.  It was awesome.   According to them there fancy-pants astronomists from NASA, SW Ohio will experience a full solar eclipse in the year 2024.  Book your reservations now!

Jude arranged for me and The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm to accompany him and his dad to the Reds-Cubs game on the 24th of August.  Jude was suspiciously non-committal as to just where the seats were located.  Then Jude bailed out on us, taking  - evidently - Jim with him.  And so it was just The Comparable Joe Wilhelm, Mr Heavy Artillery.... and a voluminous multitude of the barbarian blue horde from Wrigleyville.

On the drive down to the Great American Tilt Yard, serious consideration was given to swapping the seats with a broker but, in the end, we kept the seats.  They were pretty awesome!

About 20 rows up from the visitor's dugout, on the aisle.  Jude hooked us up!

In the photo above, Middletown's own Kyle "Schwarbs" Schwarber bats in the 1st Inning against Sal "no relation to Claudio" Romano, Joey Votto ready to field a hot smash at first base.

The Cubs launched a failed preemptive strike in the 1st.  Above, the Cubbies' Anthony Rizzo bats with Kris Bryant taking a lead off first base.  

Of course, the real star was Joey Votto!

Votto, here (above) facing Jake Arrieta, bats in the 1st.  Later, Votto danced off first base:

These days, Reds fans are excited about the rookie prospect Jesse Winker.....

..... who Dat Manager BP insists on parking on the bench.

We arrived at the ballpark early enough to grab a Frisch's Big Boy and fries and eat them at a leisurely pace.  Good thing as they give you a mountain of fries.  I looked for a Coca-Cola that had my name on it but I've yet to find one that reads "Mr Heavy Artillery."  So instead, I settled for something that would be non-controversial in today's social and cultural climate:

Dadgummit!

The carbonation had me so dyspeptic (or maybe that was the obnoxious Cubs fans) that I feared my Big Boy might rise again.  I wonder if some Liberal snowflake artwork destroying Talibani vigilante mob seated near me would have considered my cola a Confederate monument?  I so hoped that they would if only to injury their ridiculously fragile psyche.

In needs to be said here, as a means to forestall any vigilante mob bent on retribution against Heavy Artillery, that as a lifelong Ohioan, a descendant of two Union Army veterans, a student and admirer of U.S Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman, an Irish-Italian whose own ancestors had to band together throughout one dark night in Springfield, Ohio more than 100 years ago in order to prevent the KKK from torching their Catholic church, that I have no time for anything C.S.A.-centric.   To me, the Stars and Bars is no different than the Rising Sun flag of Imperial Japan; both flags declared war against my flag and drew American blood in two long and bitter wars (observing neither flag today sends me into a frothy lather).  That said, I also don't like vigilante mobs and anarchy but I do like order and the Rule of Law.  If there are Confederate monuments on public lands - such as the lawn of a county courthouse -  or being maintained by public funds and the sentiments of the local populace runs counter to their continued presence, have them removed.  But I question the true motives of those vigilantes who employ mob rule and the Talibani tactics of destroying artwork in the name of a nebulous, purposely ill-defined and proportionally insignificant cause.  Those same vigilantes who will proclaim that art should be defended, even art that is deemed by some or many in the community to be offensive, now feel no compunction about themselves donning a mask and destroying public property, monuments and statues.

The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm joined me on the last day of August for a day game versus the New York Metropolitans.  

My source deep within the Reds organization, code named Boss, joined us for an inning.  Among the lighter, humorous conversation we also shared what little information we knew of the perilous situation of Hutch and his folks in SE Texas.  We're all thinking about Hutch and are hoping for the best after Hurricane Harvey.

That afternoon I picked out a Coca-Cola that signaled my concern and hope for Hutch and his folks.  

The Reds won, again.  Joey Votto homered, but was the star of the game for a much more important reason.  If you don't like Joey Votto, you hate life.  And are probably an unrepentant Confederate sympathizer.

This season at GABP I am 2-0 in games that The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm attended with me.  I'm 2-0 in games against the Chicago Cubs.  I'm 2-0 in games that Jude ditched me.  I'm on fire!

Shameless plug;  As the pennant races heat up, you should only be watching MLB Network for the next 2 months.

Roll the credits!