Opening Day, 2104 in Photos. And Words. Always With The Words.

Lou and I departed his palatial estate on Monday morning at about 10:30, intent as he was on seeing the start of the Findlay Market parade and its honorary grand marshal for 2014, Big Red Machine shortstop Davey Concepcion.  Arriving downtown we found ourselves shutout of our first few parking options.  Soon we discovered a small gravel lot under an overpass on West 3rd Street.  From there we hoofed it, uphill, towards the parade route.  Along the way I spied a service van parked downtown for Schindler Elevator.  I pointed it out to Lou and said, "Hey, Schindler's Lift."  I kill me.  As has been well-documented here.  By a quarter to noon we had seized a prime position from which to monitor the parade route, the corner of Race and Fifth (in front of Macy's), exactly where the route turns from Race onto Fifth (and heading for Fountain Square). 

The venerable Netherland Plaza Hotel across the street, on the south side of Fifth, this photo (above) was taken 5 minute to noon.  The downtown sidewalks were a sea of red!  Well, and white.  OK, and gray.  And black.  And blue (?!).  C'mon folks!  Get with the program!

The motorcycle divisions of assorted local law enforcement agencies led the way, followed by the newest class of Cincinnati police cadets, followed by CFD trucks (but not the awesome - and massive - heavy rescue truck Lou and I saw rumbling down Central Avenue when we first arrived downtown earlier that morning), then the U.S. Air Force, then.... Alright, skipping ahead a bit... the U.S. Coast Guard!

That's for Claudio, Heavy Artillery's favorite veteran of the USCG.

Across from our position on Race Street a new parking garage is being built.  It didn't make for the most picturesque backdrop for parade photos.

Grand Marshal Dave Concepcion!  With Port-A-Johns in the background.  Good grief!  Next up, Reds starting pitcher Mat Latos (on the Disabled List).....

.....Facing the wrong direction.  With scaffolding in the background.  Riding in the next convertible was Aroldis Chapman (also on the DL).  I couldn't get a decent photo of the Cuban Missile.  Having seen enough, Lou and I met up with Alison for lunch.  Afterward, as per tradition, we escorted my sister-in-law back to her office so that we may have access to her office's executive washroom.  From Alison's office I snapped the usual photo of Fountain Square and the section of the parade route that snakes along side it on Fifth Street:

Then I took another photo (below) which better captured Cincinnati's iconic Carew Tower:

Quality time spent with Alison, Lou and I headed for the Great American Ball Park.  Gates opened at 2:10pm and at that designated hour/minute we strode uninhibited right through the empty gates at Gapper's Alley while 8 million fans thronged the Crosley Terrace.  There's more than one way into the ballyard, peeps.  With ample time to kill, we explored the ballpark searching out all the new features.

Above you see a small portion of the new-for-2014 mile-long bar.  Just around the corner, I took my best-quality photo of the day when we happened across filming of the Reds broadcast pre-game show:

Fox Sports Ohio anchor guy Brian Geisen-..... Giesensl-..... Giesenschlau-..... Brian Geese N' Slaw, at right, interviewing Reds television play-by-play man emeritus George Grande.  Sharp focus, George Grande deep in sober, considered expression, framed by the Power Stacks.  I nailed this photo!  Here's a sample of what George was saying; "The Reds' new manager Bryan Price has really grown, not only as a ballplayer, coach and now skipper, but also as a man."

Overlooking the visitor's bullpen, Lou and I stumbled across a burgeoning controversy.

The St Louis Cardinals bullpen coach (at center, above) was explaining to two members of the Reds grounds crew that the two pitching rubbers at the front of the bullpen didn't square up to the two home plates at the back of the bullpen.  At one point the Redbirds' bullpen coach toed the rubber (baseball phrase) and demonstrated for the Reds grounds crew throwing from the mound and how a pitcher's natural delivery would cause him to crossfire into the mitt of the wrong - and perhaps unsuspecting - bullpen catcher.  Chalk up one more home field advantage!

In the Fan Zone, we found your one-stop concession stand stop:

The Moerlein Lager House Craft Beer Bar next to LaRosa's pizza.  You're welcome.  

For this year's Opening Day, the Reds assigned me two seats in Section 419, Row Q.  Lou and I hit up LaRosa's for a couple of slices of 'zza and took our seats in time for the pregame, on-field ceremonies:

Above, the National Anthem.  I was very happy with my seat location.  Row Q proved to be the last row of Section 419.  As such, we were under cover in the event of rain (0% chance) or blistering sunshine (for a portion of the game, anyway).  Barry Larkin and Davey Concepcion threw out the ceremonial first pitches.....

..... and then Joe Morgan delivered the game ball out to the pitcher's mound:

Above, Little Joe stands before a video camera while being introduced (something about Joe Morgan Honda, Exit 29 in Monroe, Ohio), sporting his Reds' Hall of Fame red suit jacket.

The first pitch!

Stylin' and profilin'.

We had seats 4 & 5.  Seats 1-3 sat empty for the entirety of the game save for two innings.  Lou and I were thus able to spread out a bit, with no obnoxious drunks behind to disturb us.  As for the obnoxious drunk standing next to me, wearing the gray Jay Bruuuuuce t-shirt, that was another story.  During this Easter season, it is good to remind ourselves that we all have crosses we must bear in life, and mine is that every Reds game I attend I must be annoyed by moronic baseball fans sitting in close proximity.  I can feel your empathy.  Her incessant implorations for "Baby!" to make a good pitch or for "Baby!" to come through with a timely hit and cheering when "Baby!" made a great catch had me reaching for my 2014 Reds Media Guide to make certain that during the off-season the Reds 25-man roster didn't all change their names to Baby Cueto or Baby Votto or Baby Bruce, etc.  The obnoxiousity clincher, however, was when she lamented long, loudly, laboriously and melodramatically about the use of backward "K's" for some of Baby Cueto's strikeouts.  When her male friend quietly informed her of the age-old tradition of signifying in scorebooks a called third strike with a backward "K," her loud response was, "Well, how are people supposed to know that?!"  Hey sister!  The same way you know anything else about the game.  Somebody tells you!  Now shut up and swill your seventh Miller Lite!

In the photo below, Baby Votto prepares to leave Dat Dude Baby stranded on first base in the Bottom of the First Inning.

In the photo below, Baby Bruuuuuce does likewise.

Winning baseball games, having successful teams boils down to just two things:  WHIP and RISP.  Over the past 4 seasons Reds pitchers have done very well in the former, Reds batters have done poorly in the latter.  Tale of the Opening Day tape;  Reds had 9 LOB, .000 RISP.  Seems like this is where September left off last season.  And Opening Day 2013.  And the 2012 postseason.  And 2010.  And.....

As good as my Schindler's Lift quote was, the observation of the game went to Lou who, between the 6th and 7th Innings and moments before Yadi Molina jacked his game-winning solo shot in the 7th Inning, said; "You watch, Yadi will come up this inning, blast a solo home run and the Cardinals will win this game 1-0."  Ding-ding-ding-ding!  We have a winner.  Or a loser, as it were.  The moment Yadi ripped the ball, I shouted "Lou!  Lou!"  The crowd stood in unison, except for me for I knew it was long gone before the ball rocketed out of the infield.  "What did you just say, less than 5 minutes ago?!" I axed him.

Things progressed in an odd direction after that.

I noticed that, between innings, a member of the MLB Signal Corps would slip unobserved onto the field and hold up a series of colored cards for some unidentified entity somewhere out in left field.

There he was, every half inning.  On one or two occasions, the players had taken their positions, the batter was in the batters' box, the pitcher ready to hurl (baseball term) and the umpire holding up the proceedings, clearly without the manifest power to have this suspicious character bodily removed from the field of play.  Soon, I believe, we had our answer!

Lou was the first to spot it.  Look there!  Up in the sky!  Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  IT WAS A DRONE.  Obviously devoid of Hellfire missiles, this mysterious member of the MLB Signal Corps must have been directing remote, unmanned missile attacks on various Cardinal targets such as - one might imagine - their team bus.

Ballgame lost, Lou and I trudged our way back to where we'd left our mode of transportation.  Into the setting sun, we walked westward along 2nd Street where we ran upon the heels of The Incomparable Joe Wilhelm!

Joe-Joe hasn't aged well.

This may be because Joe is having difficulty coming to terms with how great Barry Larkin was, especially relative to the supposed standard of excellence set by Derek Jeter.  During last night's interminable rain delay I dug a little deeper into the numbers.  The Incomparable imagines that Jeet was "more clutch" than Larkin.  You are free to peruse the playoff stat comparison I made (below) in "The Truth About Mr November" posting on February 16, 2014 which serves - in part - to refute that specific, absurd claim.  Here's what I uncovered last night:

Career RISP - 

Larkin:  .298/.401/.435
Jeter:   .302/.395/.421

Career Runners on Base - 

L:  .303/.392/.451
J:  .311/.390/.425

Career 9th Inning - 

L:  .278/.352/.351
J:  .240/.342/.331

Career 8th Inning - 

L:  .307/.391/.461
J:  .288/.377/.413

Career Normalized for Ballpark - 

Larkin @ GABP:  .282/.356/.422
Jeter @ GABP:  .214/.267/.286

Roll the credits!