Opening Day 2015; Part 2 - Ballpark

Now that we are two weeks beyond Opening Day, and now that you've all had the opportunity to watch or listen to the ball game, read about it, call in to 700 WLW's "Extra Innings" with your comments on managerial maneuvers and complaints about the demise of the Banana Phone, I will turn my focus to the sights and sounds of Opening Day.  Mostly the sights.

When last we met, Lou and I had exited stage left from the parade upon seeing some nefarious character transmitting to Vladimir from the back of a float.  Arriving at the Great American Ball Orchard 15 minutes prior to the gates opening, we skirted the sea of humanity which had jammed up the Crosley Terrace main gate and secreted ourselves to a quiet entrance, evidently hidden in broad daylight as we were third in line.  Someone should inform Reds fans that it's no longer the days of yore when your ticket had a gate number and the ex-Gestapo ushers would refuse you entry at any other gate.  Someone should inform Reds fans of a lot of things, as will become obvious the further you read.  Standing in line I spied just inside the gate a rather curious-looking apparatus (highlighted in the green box, below):

Geiger Counter was my best guess.  Security measures have really gotten tight at the ol' ball yard.  Whatever it was, it was still being charged up at the time of my photo.  Wanting not to appear too suspicious with my unauthorized photographic activities, I took some other, less strategically sensitive pictures of the immediate area:

GABP is justifiably festooned with All-Star regalia, these banners (above) lining the exterior plaza.  The Reds marketing department is absolutely crushing the All-Star Game lead up, from the logos to the fonts to the emblems, it all looks great!  I really like this stylized, old school newsprint image of an 1869 Cincinnati Red Stocking.

Once inside the gates, the lower level concessions have had their facades remade to lend patrons the appearance of walking through or along a streetscape.  I think it's all pretty nifty.  It certainly beats the (former) alternative!

Many (but not all) of the hot dog-oriented concessions have been rebranded as the Cincinnati-centric (Cincentric?  Cincinncentric?) Porkopolis Dogs and Sausage. 

Go ahead, just try and convince me that doesn't sound and look awesome.  All that brickwork and the cornices are all-new for 2015.  So too for the stonework and cornice above the LaRosa's concession.  In the photo (below) of the concourse, I capture Lou making a determined line for LaRosa's.

While Big Brother Lou was popping for the slices of 'zza, I snapped a photo of Geese 'n Pic prepping for the Fox Sports Ohio pregame live telecast:

For those of you familiar with the ritual, I did not feel any compulsion whatsoever to bang on the stainless steel bartops with reckless abandon.  Lou and I took a seat in the Miami University-sponsored Reds Connect Zone, located down the left field line, whereupon we wolfed down our pizzas. 

Among the multitude of improvements to be found at the ballpark this year is the promise of universally accessible Wi-Fi.  What better place to try out this new era of connectivity than the Reds Connect Zone?  After wiping pizza sauce off my hands, face, glasses (don't ask), I entered the ballpark's public Wi-Fi password ("BuzzwordCatchphrase") into my Android Galaxy S9000..... and nothing.  I tried again.  Nothing.  And a third time.  Nothing.  Three strikes, yer out!  I must allow for the possibility of a general level of recalcitrance from my 'Droid unit, as I did not receive any text messages from approximately Noon (when Lou and I first arrived downtown) until about 8:30pm (where we were hurtling along I-275) at which point my 'Droid exploded in an apoplectic fit of text message downloads, about a dozen all at once.  Friends asking where I parked or where my seat location was or proclaiming the true greatness of Joey Votto.  If you sent me a text that afternoon and I didn't reply, you now understand why.  My 'Droid expresses its most humble apology.  From where I was seated in the photo above, enjoying my LaRosa's pizza,  I spied two of the newest concessions at the Great American Tilt Yard:

Taste of Belgium and Moerlein Lager House.  Belgians and Germans side-by-side?  What could possibly go wrong?

With more than an hour to kill before game time, Lou and I explored more of the ballpark.  I snapped two views of the field from the concourse level of The Gap:

 

 

The visiting Pirates were taking batting practice under threatening skies at the moment.  Taking a look at the Pittsburgh batting order, I said to Lou, "McCutchen is a great player, but the rest of this lineup - they can't beat us."  And I was right! 

The Frisch's Big Boy makes an appearance at GABP:

In reading fan reactions to all the new ballpark amenities the next morning, it seems the most popular new concession area is the Bootleggers Speakeasy found on the first base side of the field level concourse.  It attempts to bring to life the kind of saloons that could be found throughout Cincinnati prior to Prohibition:

Note the "16th St." engraving at right, suggestive of a nineteenth century Over-the-Rhine establishment.  The entire structure of the Bootleggers is new for 2015.

The nineteenth century motif is further developed inside Bootleggers with a massive bar (at right, in the photo above) which is itself evocative of Old World hand-carved woodworking craftsmanship.  The artisanal pressed tin ceiling, the likes of which is on display at finer haute couture places such as Chick-Fil-A (but is cool nonetheless), is period-correct right down to the operational ceiling fans.  The tile floor may also be period correct (I'm uncertain of that) but is certainly functional from a housekeeping perspective and is probably highly durable for the level of foot traffic Bootleggers expects.  The highlight of the flooring, however, is the 1869 Cincinnati Red Stockings Ye Olde English "C" interwoven into the tile design:

When the world comes to GABP for the Mid-Summer Classic this July, Bob Castellini will blow their minds!

Walking through the Fan Zone, my line of sight was caught by a large banner affixed to the Moerlein Lager House mothership, across Joe Nuxhall Way from GABP, advertising a (new?) liquid refreshment; Moerlein Zeppelin [not named, obviously, for the English band but rather the German dirigible].  Being a big Jimmy Page fan, as you may have heard, and instantly being reminded of the steak I had recently at Jeff Ruby's Precinct, I said to Lou, "How can I not have a Zeppelin?" - the same kind of question I posed to him about The Brennaman barrel-cut filet.  Later, as we headed for our seats, we hurriedly scanned the innumerable beer selections at a variety of concessions but, alas, found no Zeppelin on offer.

Down at the end of the right field line - near Mr Red's Smokehouse (if that helps) - can be found another new concession which seemed very popular as interpreted from the long line of customers, the Fry Box:

The Fry Box sign itself appears to be neon, probably looks cool at night. 

With the Fry Box, we now arrive at the portion of today's post wherein I recount just a few of the moronic things I overheard alleged Reds fans say on Opening Day.  At right in the photo above is a cryptic listing of letters and numbers having nothing to do with fries and headed by the word "REDS."  In baseball, numbers (and statistics) are everything, unlike all the other so-called major sports (but also important in golf and horse racing which explains why golf and horse racing are so great).  To any Reds fan with more than a single functioning brain cell, it becomes simple to decipher immediately the code.  Regrettably, 90% of self-proclaimed Reds fans have but a single functioning brain cell [for reference, see; Banana Phone, "SportsTalk," "Extra Innings," "Hot Stove League," et al].  While snapping the photo of the Fry Box you see above, one of the amoeba in line asked of his fellow amoebae; "What's WC 19 40 75 76 90?"

I nearly punched him in his amoebic face.

His pals didn't have an answer.  I walked away, unsurprised that a Reds fan couldn't identify Cincinnati's championship, pennant and Division title seasons, nor was it likely these Reds fans could identify any of the Reds former MVPs.  There's no doubting the passion Reds fans have for their team, but most are grossly uninformed.  Later in the game, when Jay Bruce ripped a ball foul, one fan in a row behind me yelled Get out of bounds!  In another instance, a young father explained to his son why he was a Kentucky basketball fan, and an Alabama football fan, owing to the fact that neither state had an NFL team.  He went on to say, "I know Alabama doesn't have a pro baseball team [he meant to say Major League, as minor league teams are also professional], but I'm not sure about Kentucky."  The emphasis mine.  The imbecility his.

The much-hyped self-serve beer stands also proved too vexing for some Reds fans.

Lou and I watched as staff explained to patron after patron how the machines operated, with more than a few fans walking away sans beer and shaking their heads.  Among the four steps outlined on the front of the machine, with the fourth step being "Enjoy" (so that step doesn't really count), "Tilt" seemed too difficult a concept for one Reds fan that Lou and I observed (tilting being a concept most of us learned in high school).  He held his cup perfectly upright and poured himself a draft that was 75% foamy head.  Loser.  Watching this spectacle got me to wondering, though, at the Moerlein Lager House if I could order a draf[t] Zeppelin.  Get it?  Draf?  Like Graf Zeppelin?  OK, really bad pun.  But I'll bet there were only 25 people in the ballpark that would have gotten the joke (pun).  Lou was one of the 25.  As for the self-serve beer kiosk, I surmise it will be akin to betting machines at race tracks.  The older generation won't go near the things but they'll be popular among the younger set.

And as for my seats:

Worst. Seats. Ever.

Note in the photo, above, the fans highlighted in green boxes.  This photograph was of Johnny Cueto's first pitch and the highlighted "Reds fans" weren't watching the action.

With the zoom function on my Nikon fully activated, straining the limits of machine and man, I captured the Nasty Boys in the act of throwing out the game's ceremonial first pitches:

Without the aid of the scoreboard, I'd have not known if Devin Mesoraco, Gookie Dawkins or Champ Summers was batting for the Redlegs.  Alright, that's a minor exaggeration.  Any further from home plate and I would have been sitting atop the Riverfront Coliseum.  Maybe Tom Browning was out there? 

The forecasted rains came during the second inning, sending less hearty fans scrambling for cover.  Lou and I held our position.  When in the 6th inning, an hour or so after the rain first began to fall and the grounds crew unfurled the tarp ahead of a 30-minute rain delay, Lou and I finally sought shelter ourselves.  Lightning had been flashing over River City for a few minutes prior to the stoppage in action, but shortly after the umpires waved the two teams off the field, that is when the rains really came down in a torrent:

It was during this rain delay that Lou and I heard our fifth John Fogerty (technically, CCR) song of the day, as "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" entertained [sic] the soggy Reds faithful.  So long as we're on a Led Zeppelin kick, why didn't the Reds play "Rain Song" over the P.A.?  I'll bet that would sound especially good with a Moerlein Zeppelin in hand.

I spotted a fellow Brave sharing the same shelter as us:

For those few fortunate enough to have received the AK Bulletin (Kuertz' affiliate Heavy Artillery publication) following Opening Day, in it the author recounted - and naturally took credit for - the moment Todd Frazier blasted his game-winning home run in the bottom half of the 8th inning.  Kuertz makes claim to having called the shot in his piece titled "How I Won Opening Day," a highly dubious assertion save for the corroboration of his Lady Cassandra, an unassailable source of truth and integrity.  Well, in the top half of the 8th inning, I too am credited with a home run... albeit for the enemy (such is the strength with which the Dark Side of the Force is within me).  In the top of the 8th, protecting Johnny Cueto's scant 2-run lead, Dat Manager BP brought in former Chicago Cub and walking disaster Eric Ggreggg to face a Pirate pinch hitter.  In an at-bat that went on far too long, the Pirate pinch hitter fouled off approximately eight thousand pitches before flying out to deep center field.  Pirate lead off hitter and Cincy native Josh Harrison promptly ripped a single to left field.  The next Pittsburgher blasted a line drive out to deep left field.  With Ggreggg teetering on the edge of collapse, and former MVP Andrew McCutchen sauntering up to the plate representin' the Pirates tying run I said to Lou, I can't watch McCutchen tie this game up, I'm going to the Men's Room.  No sooner did I reach the View Level concourse when a mighty, agonized groan escaped the lips of Reds fandom.  'Cutch hammered a 2-run homer to center field.  Tie game.  Saw it coming, I did.

Happily for Reds Country, Todd Frazier Aaron came through in the clutch in the bottom half of the 8th.  For appearing with Nuxy on the Star of the Game Report, Kuertz received a Longines wristwatch from Shillito's.

Going back, for a moment, to Kuertz' called shot; So bad were our seats that when Frazier crushed his upper deck, tie-breaking 3-run bomb, I was look down on the trajectory of the ball.  From my vantage point I wasn't sure if his blast was a line drive out to the left fielder or a home run.  Mind you, it was upper deck.

Roll the credits!

Opening Day 2015; Part 1 - Parade

My Opening Day 2015 began with a variant on an old ritual and one new ritual.  First, my lucky baseball boxer shorts failed to live up to their designation last season so in their stead I geared up with a pair of Super Mario Bros boxers.  Second, a healthy dose of Blue Emu on a barking rotator cuff because, well, in the past 5 years my body has aged 25 years.  With my protective layers in place, I jumped into my Director of Premium Sales & Service disguise, replete with Cincinnati Reds lanyard:

After a comical Benny Hill-type dash through a convention center parking garage, only to have the car directly in front of us snag the final available spot, Lou and I discovered ample parking in a surface lot at Third Street and Central Avenue, deep below Fort Washington Way.  We cruised past a gathering of a half-dozen galoots tailgating in the parking lot, blasting out from their under-powered car stereo John Fogerty's quasi-classic "Centerfield."  Four times that afternoon, we were to hear "Centerfield."  In derisively describing the tailgaters to Lou, I needed but two words; football fans.  Having parked, Lou and I hiked in the direction of the parade route.  Climbing up Race Street, a blue convertible Bentley raced down reminding us of Uncle Carl Lindner days of yore.  Approaching the intersection of Fourth and Vine Streets, Lou spied a long-wheelbase seven-series BMW stuck in traffic sporting a personalized Reds on Radio license plate.  The cryptic nature of the vanity plate immediately had us puzzling out to whom the Bimmer belonged.  Johnny Bench? Lou posited.  Nah, not descriptive enough for JB.  Pat Corrales? was my own supposition.  By this time we'd nearly caught up to the idling BMW and I could see the driver was wearing an unmistakably bright red blazer.  It's either a Reds official or a Reds Hall of Famer, I said to Lou, my fan-boy giddiness unashamedly bubbling over.  Drawing even with the land yacht I ducked so that I might more easily peer into the compartment and discovered at the helm my close personal friend Robert (he let's me call him "Bob") Castellini.  Walking on, Lou fished out his Android and I seated myself on a curbside bench near the intersection.  Traffic soon began to flow and, sitting alongside me, Lou captured the approach of the SS Fruit Magnate (license plate obscured out of respect for the privacy of my close personal friend, Bob):

If you look closely, you may discern Bob's red blazer and stylish French cuffs.  As Mr Castellini sailed past he looked a bit grumpy and, oddly, he failed to acknowledge my beaming presence.  I think - in my disguise - he had me confused for a certain Director of Premium etc etc whom, I've heard, Bob isn't as friendly with as he is with Mr Heavy Artillery.  I'm just sayin'.  Despite barricades and a heavy police presence blocking further passage up Vine Street, the SS Fruit Magnate was waved through and disappeared into a secret, underground lair parking garage.

Lou and I took up a vantage point near the corner of Fifth and Vine, in front of McCormick & Schmick's, across from Fountain Square (not pictured, below) and in the long shadow of the Carew Tower (helpfully pictured, below).

 

 

For those of you who may have been watching local television coverage of the parade, WKRC chief mediaurologist meteorologist Tim Hedrick was camped out directly in front of us, broadcasting his witty commentary on the proceedings:

Tim Hedrick aka "the Concerned Citizen" as heard irregularly on 700 WLW's "Bill Cunningham Show" is highlighted, rather insufficiently, in the green box (above).  Leading the way was, as always, the Cincinnati police motorcycle brigade:

The Grand Marshals for this year's parade were The Nasty Boys of 1990 World Champion Cincinnati Reds infamy; Rob Dibble, Norm Charleton and Randall Kirk Myers.  In the photo below, the Rice University triple-major Norm waves at me!

Heavy Artillery rarely acknowledges anyone from the Professional League of American Rules Football (or PLARF), but parade participant Anthony Munoz deserves both recognition and respect!

Mr Munoz can be seen manhandling a youth in the photo above.  Such is the consequence - one imagines - for disrespecting the PLARF Hall of Fame offensive tackle.

Personally, the parade highlight each year is a sighting of the Kahn's giant inflatable pig:

There's an inside joke Lou and I share about this Kahn's float, Pink Floyd and a comedy routine from a long-forgotten stand-up comedian from the 1980s which shall remain unpublished here.

Did someone mention the ghost of Carl Lindner?  Another parade favorite of mine is the Frisch's Big Boy:

Note the image of my all-time favorite dessert, pictured on the side of the truck and directly below the Big Boy.  That's right!  The Frisch's hot fudge cake.  Mmm-Mmm!  Note also, "the Concerned Citizen" with hands on hips, blocking my view.  From his body language, I can only infer that the self-stylized "Weather Authority" (who does he think he is?  Erica Collura?!) has personal animosity towards the Big Boy.

Then, nearing the end of the parade, a float drifted past which carried a rather curious element:

Highlighted in the green box, at the back of the float in question, a suspicious character appeared nefariously to be transmitting and/or receiving data from a geosynchronous orbiting satellite.  At this discovery, Lou and I deemed discretion to be the better part of valor so we vacated the immediate area and headed for the ballpark.

Next week:  "Opening Day 2015; Part 2 - Ballpark, or How I Nearly Lost Opening Day.

Roll the credits!

Appomattox Court House Plus 150 Years

Genealogical research has revealed that of my two ancestors who served in the Union Army during the War of the Rebellion, one was present in the vicinity of Appomattox Court House on April 9, 1865, the day that General Robert E. Lee surrendered the Confederate Army of Northern Virginia to General U.S. Grant.

 

 

 

My maternal 3x great grandfather Patrick [born in County Waterford, Ireland] enlisted in the 110th Ohio Volunteer Infantry at the age of 38.  As you can read from the above synopsis of his service record, he was wounded in the Battle of the Wilderness, promoted to Corporal in September of 1864 and mustered out with his company June 25, 1865.

While Patrick is not mentioned by name in the War of the Rebellion, the following excerpts of an official report from his commanding Brigadier General officially place his regiment at (or near) the historic event:

 

 

I spent three full days in total, during 2013 & 2014, researching hundreds upon hundreds of the hundred-thirty thousand pages of War of the Rebellion and every second was worth it.  This is a fascinating collection of records for anyone with an interest in researching the Civil War.  Ask your local librarian for more information.

Roll the credits!

Redlegs; Fifteen For '15

As we faithful in Reds Country prepare for a monumental season in the annals of professional baseball in Cincinnati, let's understand 15 key points leading into this historically-associated 2015 season:

1)  A healthy Joey Votto is the best hitter in the National League.  Bar none.  Human bodies are imperfect (excepting Daisy Fuentes, of course) and those of professional athletes are subjected to rigors beyond that which we mere mortal civilians experience.   I blame much, probably most, of Joey's recent maladies on our team's infamous duck orthopedic surgeon, Doc Hollywood.  If he is healthy in 2015, Votto will have a tremendous season.  This past Hot Stove League season brought with it a near-constant harangue on the airwaves from fans disgruntled over Votto's recent lack of production in favor of pursuing a higher on-base percentage.  Mind you, whilst he was battling through a debilitating injury that prevented Joey from driving the ball.  What the fans seem to misunderstand is that a player can have an OBP of .450 and blast 30 home runs and drive in 120 RBI.  Yes, it would take an MVP-type season from an MVP-type player to do so.  Joey Votto is exactly that kind of player.  [for reference see; Joey Votto 2010 MVP award.]  Expecting a healthy season from Votto, the trick for him reaching the 110 or 120 RBI plateau will be for Dat Manager BP to not screw up the batting order by putting Joey in the 2-hole.  Ruh-roh, Shaggy!

2)  Jay Bruuuuuce had a nightmarish offensive season in 2014.  The Beaumont Bomber is getting paid big boy money to bat clean-up and drive in runs.  Another season of .217/.281/.373 with 16 bombs and 66 rib eye steaks (with 500 at-bats) would be crippling to this team's pennant dreams.  Funny thing, though.  The peasants with pitchforks continuously agitated for Adam Dunn to be run out of town on the next of Ken Griffey, Junior's private Lear Jet flights.  The Big Donkey never had a season as bad as the one just posted by Bruuuuuce.  The closest he came to that nearly unfathomable low was in just his third major league season when Dunner batted .215/.354/.465 with 27 homers and 57 runs bated in.  In fewer than 400 at-bats that season.  I like The Beaumont Bomber.  I think he'll have a good-to-very-good season this year.  But it was wrong to ride El Burro Grande out of town and it's wrong in 2015 to beat up Bruuuuuce for a singularly awful 2014 season.

3)  Dat Dude BP needs to drop the hot dog amateurism and play ball.  He might very well go down as the second-greatest second baseman in Reds franchise history.  Just think how much better he could be without all the showboatin'.  Ric Flair he ain't.  Wooooo!

4)  The Reds need solid, productive seasons out of Votto , Bruce, and Phillips in order to bring the NL pennant back to the Queen City.

5)  Todd Frazier and Devin Mesoraco both had career-best seasons last year.  It should be understood by the Reds faithful that no player's career trajectory is a vertical line upward.  The Toddfather and Rocco might each regress, statistically, a bit this season but could and should still provide the Reds with productive seasons, in the field and at the dish.

6)  The loss of Phat Mat Latos will hurt the overall success of our pitching rotation.  Yes, I said "our."  [for reference see; Reds PA announcer Joe Zerhusen: "Ladies and gentleman!  Here are your Cinicinnati Reds!"]. Ace Johnny Cueto is in the walk year of his contract and after two near-Cy Young Award seasons, I expect Cueto will be lights out this season.  Homer Bailey and his two No-Hitters will start the season on the DL [for reference see; Quack!] but he should soon rejoin the club and with his maturity and experience he should have a great season in 2015.  He has tended toward knuckleheadedness in the past, so Homie needs to put up in order to make fans shut up.  I think he will.  Mike "Six Run" Leake is sneaky good except when he's giving up 6 runs.  He's the best sub-.500 NL pitcher nobody talks about. 

7)  The Reds have an intriguing bunch of young arms which may or may not make the Opening Day roster but which we'll no doubt see at some point during the 2015 season, allowing for unavoidable injuries.

8)  Reassigning Tony Cingrani to the bullpen is a smart move, as the kid only has one pitch.  His move to the bullpen more smoothly paves the way for Reds GM Walt "Jockerty" Jockety to trade the Cuban Missile the day after the All-Star Game and for Dat Manager BP to pencil Cingrani into the Closer role.  You read it here first!

9)  Newly-acquired left fielder Marlon Byrd will be given every opportunity to succeed in LF where so many have failed since the days of Big Donkey.  OK, if you don't like that, since the days of Greg Vaughn or Kevin Mitchell before him.  "Jockerty" missed a golden opportunity for my close personal friend Robert (he lets me call him "Bob") Castellini to sell some tickets and for Dat Manager BP to have a legit #2 hitter (or #1, now that the bloom is off Billy Hamilton, dropped to the Zack Cozart low-rent distict of the batting order) and solid outfield defender when Walt allowed the Miami Marlins to sign Ichiro.  Ichiro is fewer than 200 hits away from 3000 in these United States and only 134 hits away from 4256 all-time, Japan and U.S. combined!  What a great opportunity to sell tickets.  Plus, Ichiro is good in the clubhouse and is as fundamentally-sound a player as you'll ever find in the modern game.  If any team is going to have the global Hit King, it should be the Cincinnati Reds!

10)  Bob Castellini should forever be appreciated by Reds fans for opening up the bank vault like no other owner in franchise history, Powel Crosley and you-know-who included.  Bob has shoveled mountains of Obama-inflated treasury notes into player payroll and has led the county into a near-continual regimen of upgrades to fan amenities at the Great American Tilt Yard.  This year there are improvements in food and adult beverage offerings, concession stand design and, at long last, Wi-Fi access for all!

11)  Jill Patton informs me that MLB has a new Commissioner.  A. Bartlett "Bug" [sic] Selig is dead!  Long live Rob Manfred!  That is, until he inevitably mishandles the case of MLB versus Peter Edward.  Make no mistake, Pete will not be re-instated this season nor any year until his Hall of Fame induction is posthumous.  So far, the new commish has made positive comments in reference to considering daytime World Series games and reducing the length of the schedule back to 154 games.  That said, introducing a clock of any sort for any purpose into the game runs anathema to the origins of the game.

12) 

[Arlo and Janis cartoon submitted by The Paleorider today.]

 

13)  Big Red Smokeys and ice cold Coca-Cola.

14)  There's that number again!

15)  With the looming departures of Cueto and Chapman, the aging process catching up to Dat Showboat BP, and potential mismanagement of the line-up by Dat Manager BP, should the Reds be out of contention by the All-Star Break then 2015 might serve as a final hurrah for this club which has had a good run since 2010.  Better get your tickets while they last!

Roll the credits!

Spring Hath Sprung, 2015 Edition

It was Alfred Tennyson who, in 1835, immortalized in the verses of Locksley Hall that one thing a young man's fancy lightly turns toward.  The 1st Baron Tennyson could not have foreseen Green Beer Day.  Like all veteran Townies, I steered clear of the Mile Square that day.  48 hours later, with the student body sunburning their student bodies on any number of southern latitude beaches, I conducted a routine patrol of the war zone in order to investigate the aftermath.  Counterintuitively, Club Romano appeared stately and undisturbed:

A wave of melancholy washed over me when, down the street and around the corner, the shocking condition of Chalet du Forshey fell under my gunsights:

 

[Bonus glimpse of Paradise City, above, at right.]

 

 

Its former glory succumbing to the ravages of off-campus carousing.

Spring and Spring Break is accompanied by the ubiquitous roadtrip.  The Paleorider submitted from his mountaintop retreat in the western Carolinas a photo from his own springtime excursion:

Don't look as if you've seen a ghost.  Andy included this link, reporting on the resurrection of the Delta Queen.  The plight of the DQ, first brought to your attention on the ol' web page 6+ years ago, struck a chord with my loyal subscribers like, perhaps, no other web page update.

The next handful of springtime days brings with them several monumental occasions/events.

First, a Saturday jam-packed with the preeminent Kentucky Derby prep races. After a decade or so of Derby irrelevance due strictly to its synthetic surface experiment, Keeneland and its signature race - The Blue Grass Stakes - has risen from the parimutuel ashes to regain its position as the greatest and most important Derby prep.  Derby hopefuls hailing from the East Coast will run in Saturday's Wood Memorial, held in New York at Aqueduct, and Run for the Roses challengers invading Churchill Downs on the First Saturday in May from the West Coast will compete in the Santa Anita Derby, run at - you guessed it - scenic Santa Anita in the foothills of southern California.

If you have nothing planned for Saturday Cancel your plans for Saturday, check your local listings and find your Derby horse!

The People's Democratic Liberation Army of Elizabeth Warren seeks the separation of Church and everything, so we'll skip mention of Easter Sunday this weekend.

Then, of course, Monday brings the greatest of all civic holidays (are those still permitted?), Reds Opening Day! 

2015 will be a monumental season in the long and storied tradition of Redlegs baseball;  The 86th All-Star Game in July, the 75th anniversary of the Reds 1940 World Championship, the 40th anniversary of the Reds 1975 World Championship, the 25th anniversary of the Reds 1990 World Championship, the 20th anniversary of the Reds most recent home-game playoff victory (1995), the 45th anniversary of the 1970 All-Star Game at Riverfront Stadium and the 30th anniversary of Pete Rose being crowned the Most Saintly and Righteous Hit King! 

Reds season tickets this year pay tribute to the club's past All-Stars.

Roll the credits!