December 23, 2013

The Worst Christmas Ever

Christmas can be a stressful time.  Decorating, shopping, planning parties, gift wrapping, mailing Christmas cards, caroling, writing letters to Santa, shoveling Christmas cookies down the gullet like there's no tomorrow (or is that just me?).  Around these parts, as a way to help diffuse holiday season tension, when something "goes wrong" I like to proclaim that - as a result - This is the worst Christmas ever!

One of the Christmas tree lights isn't working?  This is the worst Christmas ever!

Mail order ships the wrong merchandise?  This is the worst Christmas ever!

Fresh baked cookie only had four chocolate chips and not seven?  This is the worst Christmas ever!

Mr and Mrs Incomparable Joe Wilhelm send yet another Christmas card featuring their mangy mutts?  This is the worst Christmas ever!

Gets a laugh every time.  Well, maybe not from Mary and Joseph Incomparable (who should be rightfully lauded for putting their own beaming visages on the Incomparable Family 2013 Christmas card, for a change, and not torturing me with their ill-behaved vicious attack dogs!).

It is with this Worst Christmas Ever spirit that I found myself having to blow up my original plans for this Christmas Week post.  I was all set to borrow heavily from Mariah Carey's hit Christmas single "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and run with my Dear Santa letter in which I had planned to re-work the lyrics into "All I Want For Christmas Is Choo."  However, news arrived this past weekend that Shin-Soo Choo signed an infinite-year/bazillion-dollar contract with Dubya's Texas Rangers and with that crushed the yuletide spirit out of Reds fans throughout Reds Country.

Consigning those original blog plans to the circular file, my attention turned to the weather.  OK, I'm stretching here, but I need a segue into my recent photos.  Humor me.  Just go with it.

Any hope for a white Christmas at The Ranch in 2013 was quite literally washed away by the weekend-long torrential downpour that deluged Reily Township.  In a matter of hours the acres of snow blanketing The Ranch melted away and I suddenly found myself the proud owner of ocean-front, rain forest property:




In the backyard, the scene was more astounding as The West 40 liquified before my very eyes:




It may be hard to discern from the Android-sourced photo above, but at center (above) the old well filled up and overflowed.  [Until the late 1960s The Ranch was supplied only by a well, but that was before my lifetime.]  If you look closely, you might see that leading away from the well, diagonally down and to the left corner of the photo, a never-before-seen stream appeared and served to drain excess rainwater out of the overflowing well.  And if you re-examine the photo above, you might also observe that the lower right corner of the photo - depicting a small slope that runs downhill towards the viewer - is more water than grass/soil.  I suppose that upon us all a little rain must fall, but this was getting ridiculous and it certainly doesn't put one in the Christmas spirit.  For this, I had to find a remedy:




A drive through the Pyramid Hill Christmas lights!






That's more like it!

What's that you say?  The photos are nice but you'd like something more?  Well then, check out the video I shot with my R2 unit!  How ya like me now?

After my Xmas Light drive-by, I went home and put up the ol' Holiday Evergreen Christmas Tree.  First things first, I had to test the lights.  I fired up the 8 million-watt sound system for some seasonal tunes such as this and this and, of course, this.  

It took some effort, but finally I was in full Christmas mode!
Lights please?
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And, Lo!, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them and they were afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not; for behold I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.....
Merry Christmas!

December 15, 2013

P.J. & the Rat Pack Christmas

This was the scene that greeted me one morning earlier this past week when I opened my bedroom drapes:




Absconding with a line from Meredith Wilson, It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Perusing the Wall Street Journal on-line over doughnuts and Fuze (the breakfast of champions!) I ran across an essay in the Life & Culture section from noted humorist and Miami University alum P.J. O'Rourke titled "The Boomer Bust," adapted from his forthcoming book The Baby Boom: How It Got That Way... And It Wasn't My Fault...And I'll Never Do It Again.  Orders may be placed here.  As of this writing I have not read The Baby Boom, ergo I cannot yet recommend it.  However, if you are still groping about for last-minute Christmas gift ideas, permit me to suggest any of (or all) three of my favorite books authored by P.J. O'Rourke:

Holidays in Hell, first published in 1989.

Give War A Chance, first published in 1992.

On The Wealth Of Nations, first published in 2007.

People often axe me, Marty [credit: "The Cowboy" Jeff Brantley], "Mr Heavy Artillery [sic], you are a widely respected connoisseur of fine music.  What does Christmas Day sound like at The Ranch?"  Here's my secret recipe, should you be desirous of having cool background music as you annihilate Mom's delicate gift wrappings and slam down Grandma's bountiful snack tray offerings:

1) Fire up the twentieth century 8-million watt Sony STR-DE625 high fidelity stereo digital receiver.  Reduce the volume from "8" down to "2.5" or "3."

2) Turn the receiver's speaker manettino to select all four floor-standing WHO tour tower-sized floor speakers.

3) Throw the power switch on the twentieth century Sony CDP-CE215 5-disc carousel.  Insert the five following audio compact discs:


  • Dean Martin Making Spirits Bright
  • Christmas with the Rat Pack
  • Vince Guaraldi Trio: A Charlie Brown Christmas
  • Frank Sinatra & Bing Crosby Happy Holidays
  • Rudolph, Frosty & Friends' Favorite Christmas Songs


4) Pound the "Shuffle All Discs" button on the disc player.

If you follow those steps, you will enjoy several hours-worth of hepcat audio holiday cheer that resembles something like this:

I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm
The Christmas Waltz
Skating
Christmas Time All Over The World
Holly Jolly Christmas
Let It Snow
Happy Holidays
Put One Foot In Front Of The Other
I Believe
Christmastime Is Here
Baby, It's Cold Outside
There's Always Tomorrow
The Christmas Song
Mistletoe And Holly
Greensleeves
Silent Night
White Christmas
Silver And Gold
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
Linus And Lucy

As for a Christmas Day afternoon snack to pair with your musical interlude, may I suggest Hickory Farms turkey sausage, Hickory Farms garlic mozzarella cheese spread, some good old fashioned snowflake-shaped Ritz crackers and a Mexican-bottled Coca-Cola (with real cane sugar) to wash it all down.

You're welcome.

December 8, 2013

RedsFest 2013

Waylaid by a flu bug which prevented me from attending the first day of RedsFest 2013 on Friday, December 6th, I rebounded full-force to hit the second and final day of this unparalleled annual event on Saturday, December 7th.




Here (above) I captured Lou and the Disney XD Girls in the season ticket holder-only line waiting eagerly for a rare and highly coveted Jack Hannahan autograph.  Moments before, I photographed (below) the National League's 1988 Rookie of the Year, Spuds MacKenzie!




Whereas every other player/former player/broadcaster who may be signing autographs sits behind their designated table, creating an impenetrable barrier between demi-god and mortal, Chris Sabo was out in front and spent a minute or two talking with every fan who came through his autograph line.  As I said to Lou, by way of explaining his contrary approach, "Sabo has always been different."  
While Lou and the Disney XD Crew were in line for Jack Hanna-Barbera, I drifted over to the mainstage area grabbing a few minutes seat time and watched some outfit calling themselves Funky D or G or some other random letter of the alphabet butcher soul classics such as Kool and the Gang's "Get Down On It" and the Ray Beal classic "Word Up!" by Cameo.  I was prepared to storm the stage one-man gang style and bring the curtain down on Funky Zzzz had they wrecked the Dazz Band's "Let It Whip."  Lucky for Funky and the Flunkies, I became distracted by the agent for secret society world domination seated directly in front of me attempting to appear inconspicuous.




Somebody remind me next year to wear my International Order of Loyal Raccoons uniform to RedsFest 2014.

Exploring further afield, I caught glimpse of Dat Dude Wants Traded on the Wiffleball field.




RedsFest draws in luminaries from every field of endeavor in Cincinnati.  Impeded by an overwhelming throng, I was unable to photograph Professional League of American Rules Football legend Elbert "Ickey" Woods.  The throng was considerably less dense surrounding another PLARF legend, David "Full Rock" Fulcher.




Ultimately, I was shut out of autograph opportunities in my limited time at this year's RedsFest (and due strictly to my own disinterest in those players whom I would have had the opportunity... like Manny Parra).  The photograph lines at RedsFest for retired players tend to be criminally brief and as a result I waited in line for less than 5 minutes to have my photograph taken with "Mr Perfect," Tom Browning.




Seeing how much fun I was having with Mr Perfect, reminiscing about bygone days, the Disney XD Gang stampeded the empty corral for their own photo with a living Reds legend.




If I weren't the incorrigible narcissist, this would be my 2013 Xmas picture.  It was sweet that he took them by the hand.  From what little I experienced of the event this year, RedsFest was again a smashing success. Credit to the Castellini's and everyone in the Reds organization as well as the sponsors, vendors and army of volunteers who were involved with the planning and execution.  Particular congratulations directed at my two covert sources deep within the Reds organization, code named BOSS and CAMPBELL.

Hooray for the Cincinnati Reds!


*********

In November, the leading paleontologist of the western Carolina's vacated his secluded mountaintop retreat for a Thanksgiving visit to his bucolic boyhood homestead.  Attended by His Girl Friday, the Belle of Rock Island (wait, that sounds like a steamship.  Forget that...) Kristan aka "Dr. K."  I escorted them on a quiet post-Thanksgiving Day dinner at an historic regional landmark which will go unidentified here.




Do not waste your time looking in the photograph above for clues as to where we dined that evening, and certainly you should disregard the sculpture of a golden lamb above the mantel.  Behind us was a roaring fire and immediately outside the windows the city burghers were holding their annual Christmas Tree lighting.  After our dinner, we briefly toured the establishment's upstairs hotel.  I found Andy sitting rather uncomfortably upon a high-backed, narrow-benched, multi-hyphenated antique seat.  I thought it presented an hilarious opportunity to have us photographed seated in grim-faced discomfort as all 19th century visitors must have similarly experienced when seated upon this objet d'woodworking torture.  Andy worked a little sepia tone magic on his version and submitted it for publication here.




We kill us!

I have declassified this portion of his attached email:

Somehow I think it ends up being a great question for "which items in this picture are an example of anachronism?" but we don't have to go there.  Congrats on having a better stern 18th century visage than I do.

American Golden Lamb Gothic, anyone?



*********

My trusty Android fails to capture with exacting detail the assorted atmospheric images I sometimes wish to record.  A bright golden light along the horizon escaped dense winter cloud cover across a valley in the outlaw territory of our beloved old District.  




The 'droid muted the colors and tonality but still, I think, it makes for an evocative photo of mid-century Middle West Pax Americana.


*********

Ending where we began, I seize upon every opportunity to avail myself of the old This Week in Baseball closing theme.  In keeping with RedsFest and revered former Redlegs, please enjoy the following Sean Casey-intensive "This Week in MLB Network" clip from October 4th, 2013.

November 27, 2013

300,000 and 80

Two big milestones this week in B Team history:

First, the odometer of the TDS MINI Cooper Mobile Tactical Unit rolled 300,000 miles.



This momentous occasion was achieved on Saturday afternoon while hurtling east bound and down along interstate 70 @ mile marker 14 (there's that number again!) at just a few ticks under 70 m.p.h.

The next day, Sunday, we held a star-studded 80th birthday party for Mr B (whose birthday was not on Sunday).



The photo above was taken in the formal dining room of his top secret bunker in an undisclosed location somewhere in southwestern Ohio.


While You Were Out...



This Saturday evening, after the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers have been devoured and the Black Friday Thursday holiday shopping has been hidden away from prying eyes, find a comfy spot on the Davenport at 8 p.m. and watch "The Essentials" on Turner Classic Movies.  This week's feature is The Searchers, directed by John Ford and starring John Wayne, and it is widely credited as being the greatest western ever filmed.  Here is something that director Martin Scorsese had to say about the film.

November 22, 2013

DW50



This Saturday (tomorrow) the worldwide, global, transdimensional simulcast of the 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who will be broadcast in North America on BBC America beginning at 2:50 p.m. Eastern Standard Time and running until 4:10 p.m.  You can watch the official BBC trailer here.  

This 50th anniversary episode is titled "The Day of the Doctor" and features, among so much else, the return of the Tenth Doctor as he joins forces with his own Eleventh incarnation for the purposes of [spoilers!].  The BBC released last week a prequel titled "The Night of the Doctor."  This prequel re-introduces the Eighth Doctor who (no pun intended) previously had appeared only in the one-off 1996 made-for-American-television movie and which was, at best, a pseudo Doctor Who.  In this prequel, the Eighth Doctor is canonized as a full-fledged regeneration and, for the first time, viewers see his own regeneration into the secretive War Doctor, an incarnation between the Eighth and Ninth Doctors and which was only first hinted at in last season's series finale/cliffhanger.  In "The Night of the Doctor" prequel, the Eighth Doctor's first lines are meant as much for the character he is addressing as it is for Doctor Who viewers who were taken completely surprised by his inclusion.  You can watch the 7-minute prequel here.

November 17, 2013

[Balmy] November Rain

Today's severe weather outbreak across God's Own Country aka the Midwest generated, among other things, some dramatic skies.  My Android struggled to fully capture the atmospheric palette:





While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!



The Eleventh (and current) Doctor, as portrayed by actor Matt Smith, made his debut in 2010.  This week BBC America goes wall-to-wall with Doctor Who programming, leading up to this Saturday's worldwide simulcast of the 50th anniversary episode (check your local listings).  Below, clips from the era of the Eleventh Doctor:

Series 5 (2010), Episode 2 "The Beast Below."

Series 5, Episode 4 "The Time of Angels."

Series 5, Episode 5 "Flesh and Stone."

Series 5, Episode 10 "Vincent and the Doctor."

Series 5, Episode 11 "The Lodger."

Series 5, Episode 12 trailer "The Pandorica Opens."

Series 6 (2011), Episode 1 trailer "The Impossible Astronaut."

Series 6, Episode 7 "A Good Man Goes to War."

Series 7 (2012), Episode 1 "Asylum of the Daleks."

Xmas 2012 "The Snowmen."

Series 7 (2013), Episode 8 "The Bells of Saint John."

Series 7, Episode 8a "The Bells of Saint John."

November 13, 2013

Autumn to Winter

On Halloween I snapped this autumnal photo (below) of a maple tree in all it's Purdue Boilermaker Old Gold n' Black glory here at The Ranch:




Keeping with the theme, this parent, below, wearing gold (OK; yellow) and black headed towards Oxville's Halloween parade is hereby awarded the prize for best effort:




As you can see, Halloween 2013 in SW Ohio proved to be appropriately gloomy, the dense fog creating an eerie backdrop for the night's festivities.  October went out like a rainbow and November came in like an iceberg:




The photo above is of someone else's ranch, this one located in the desolate hinterlands of Outer Hinterlandia.  Funny, the things you see along the roadside in Outer Hinterlandia:




If I may be so bold as to quote Jonathan Quayle Higgins III;  "Quite."


While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!


2009, +/- a week or so, marked the final year for the Tenth - and best - Doctor, portrayed by David Tennant.  The year consisted of but five episodes and all as "specials;" Christmas 2008, Easter and Autumn 2009, Christmas 2009 and New Year's Day 2010 when the Eleventh, and current Doctor (as portrayed by Matt Smith) took over.  Herewith, some of the highlight's from Ten's final year:

Xmas 2008, "The Next Doctor."

Easter 2009 "Planet of the Dead."

Autumn 2009 "The Waters of Mars."

Xmas 2009 "The End of Time."

Xmas 2009a "The End of Time."

New Year's Day 2010 "The End of Time, Part 2."

New Year's Day 2010a "The End of Time, Part 2."

November 7, 2013

B's Waxed

This past Friday morning I spent a couple of hours reviewing my Breeders' Cup handicapping in preparation for Saturday's day-long excursion to Turfway Park with The B Team Syndicate for the World Thoroughbred Championships; The Richest Day in Racing.  From my seated position on the couch, I was able to look out upon the West 40 of the Ranch and was greeted by this vista (below):




From this same vantage point minutes later, but looking skyward, the clouds broke and the Autumal colors burst into a brilliant, spectacular display:




Outside it was about 55 degrees.  Should it have been a little warmer I'd have thrown the windows wide open to breathe in the pure, fresh Fall air.  Perhaps my Friday morning handicapping session had been somewhat distracted.  Or, perhaps, this is foreshadowing.  I picked up The Old Master of the Turf from his top secret bunker in an undisclosed location Saturday morning at 8:45 and we set a course for Lou's palatial estate.  Half way to Big Brother's, The Old Master of the Turf discovered he had left our tickets to Turfway's Homestretch Room back in his top secret bunker.  I helmed the Jeep 180 degrees in the opposite direction and rapidly we returned to Mr B's top secret bunker.  Was this more foreshadowing?  Am I preparing you for the fact that on Saturday I got my clock cleaned?  Yes, no and maybe.  "Period" [credit: B.H. Obama].

Arriving at Turfway, a rare photographic opportunity presented itself rather incongruously in the parking lot:




I must be off!

Initially I assumed my standard, statuesque pose but Lou suggested I rearrange myself to appear as if I was about to break from the gate.  Mysteriously, this stance more resembles someone about to punch out an unreformed Occupy Wall Streeter.

Inside, The Old Master of the Turf and Lou immediately headed for the ground-floor Homestretch Room.  I took a brief detour upstairs in order to photograph the desolate main concourse.


  

Among my earliest memories of going to the track as a young boy in the 1970s were of standing with Mr B in long lines at these very same betting windows (at left, above) among a multitude of track patrons crowding densely into the dark, smokey concourse.  Nowadays this area is bright, well lit, smoke-free and devoid of human activity.  Unfortunate.  The future of Turfway Park is very much in doubt.  By this time next year, the brand new, state-of-the-art Miami Valley racino (owned in part by Churchill Downs; located just off I-75 in Monroe, Ohio and just a turned double play away from Joe Morgan Honda) will replace the ancient, neglected Lebanon Raceway and the completely renovated, expanded River Downs race track and casino will (re-)open.  Both will place venerable old Turfway Park under unrelenting - probably crippling - competitive pressure.  I am filled with melancholy when I contemplate a near future in which Turfway is but a fading memory.

Next time I go to Turfway - if there is a next time - I'll try to get a few more photos, principally; the grandstand, the box seats, and the paddock.

At last year's Breeders' Cup simulcast, the Homestretch Room's buffet found universal dissatisfaction.  As a manifest result, reservations there for a Derby and Belmont table was noticeably reduced.  This year's Breeders' Cup buffet in the Homestretch Room was a veritable, mixed-sports-metaphor home run. 




Prime rib, Sicilian chicken, two varieties of mashed potatoes, steamed bacon and green beans.  The prime rib may have been the best I've ever had, and I have had more than most human beings.  Additional offerings on the buffet were things called "salad" and a wide assortment of "fruits," whatever those things are.  The cheese and mushroom stuffed ravioli (and tomato sauce) looked good, too, but a guy can only carb-load so much.  The variety of desserts were nearly innumerable.  The chocolate cake (above, right) was dynamite.

As for the day's wagering.... Oh Doctor!

The success rate for the individual members of The B team Syndicate was inversely proportional to how much time was spent studying the Daily Racing Form.  Lou, having not, looked at the Form until 1 hour before post time walked away from the track that night down a few dollars.  The Old Master of the Turf spent a handful of hours the week before looking over the DRF but still took a beating.  Mr B's reverses didn't equal my own, and I had spent 10-12 hours examining every minute detail of the Form.  The Wise Dan Free Money Express rolled again, but no amount wagered on Wise Dan at 8/5 could ultimately have righted the S.S. Hemorrhaging Cash.  Well, perhaps that isn't entirely accurate.   The smartest thing to have done on Saturday may have been to forgo every other race and simply go "all-in" on Wise Dan, but where is the fun in sitting at the track for 9 hours to wager on just one race?  Remember, it's called gambling, not investing.  Here are the four torpedoes which sent my venture to the murky depths:




At left, above, you see The B Team Syndicate's Pick Six.  At the right, above, is my own "back-up" Pick Six.  Between the two tickets were four of six winners.  However, each ticket had but three winners.  

Both Pick Sixes had the #12 Mizdirection in the Turf Sprint.

The Syndicate ticket waded six horses deep into the Juvenile but came up empty.  My back-up ticket had the winner, the #4 New Year's Day (11-1 odds).

The 13-1 Magician winning the Turf Classic struck the magazine and sent the Syndicate ticket down to Davy Jones's locker.  My back-up ticket was, at this point, on life-support for a consolation payout.

The 3-1 favorite - and winner - in the Sprint, Secret Circle, was left off all tickets.  The plug was thus pulled on my back-up ticket.

Wise Dan's victory in the Mile was, by this stage, of no help to the Syndicate Pick Six, and the same goes for Mucho Macho Man's victory in the Classic, which I had included on my back-up ticket.

The winning Pick Six paid $47,500.  The five of six consolation paid $400.




My "Late" Pick Four (above, left) missed on Magician in the Turf Classic but then successfully ran the table in correctly hitting the Sprint, Mile and Classic.  Regrettably, for me, there is no consolation payoff for correctly picking three of four in the Pick Four.  

The winning Pick Four paid just over $3,700.

Women and children having been assisted into life boats, for the Classic I forwent my usual armada of Win-Place, trifecta boxes, superfecta boxes and nobly fired off one last S.O.S., that being a rather large straight exacta on Game On Dude and Mucho Macho Man.  Remind me to never again bet another Bob Baffert-trained horse in any of the country's biggest races.



While You Were Out... for the past fifty years!




Later this month the Doctor Who fiftieth anniversary episode will air to much fanfare.  Today we continue looking back at selected highlights from the previous, re-booted serials.  Linked below are clips from Series 4 (2008):

Series 4, Episode 2 "The Fires of Pompeii."

Series 4, Episode 5 (trailer) "The Doctor's Daughter."

Series 4, Episode 8 "Silence in the Library."

Series 4, Episode 8a "Silence in the Library."

Series 4, Episode 9 "Forest of the Dead."

Series 4, Episode 10 "Midnight."

Series 4, Episode 11 "Turn Left."

Series 4, Episode 11a "Turn Left."

Series 4, Episode 11b "Turn Left."

Series 4, Episode 11c "Turn Left."

Series 4, Episode 13 "Journey's End."

Series 4, Episode 13a "Journey's End."

October 30, 2013

Ripped from the DRF Funny Pages



Handsome Mike?  Raced at Keeneland on October 5th?  That's gotta be me!  Odd, though, that there isn't a Handsome Big Randy on the Breeders' Cup race card.  Speaking of Townies, both real and imagined, check out the Dam (mother) for this Breeders' Cup entry:




Hay Jude!  Get it?  "Hay?!"  Even for a Fab Four-hater like me, I found this humorous.

The aspect that I most enjoy about the advance Breeders' Cup edition of the Daily Racing Form is that it provides readers with the lifetime past performances for every horse that is entered, as opposed to the 6- or 8-most recent races that a track program might offer.  It is usually way down deep into the lifetime past performance of a European or South American or Japanese or Australian horse that I discover new and interesting (and often hilarious) things about racing beyond the amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesty.  For example, this parenthetical inclusion into the so-called "trouble line" of a Euro invader:




A Figure 8 race course?!  For horses?!  Cor blimey!

Here's an evocative race name and host-track setting that offers a gauzy, halcyonic aura of by-gone pastoral days:




The 1-mile 196,600 British-pound Royal Hunt Cup turf handicap at Ascot on June 20, 2012.  Your gauzy, halcyonic daydream ruptures upon the nuclear annihilation of discovering there were 30, count 'em, THIRTY horses that broke from the gate (or the corral or the cavalry garrison or the zoological gardens?) for the Royal Hunt Cup:




Among the more traditional fields of 9 and 15, you see the "30" (upper right, above) that raced for the honor of holding aloft the Ascot Royal Hunt Cup in 2012.  I wonder;  Did Ascot offer a ten-pence 12-horse superfecta box..... No!  A dodecafecta box?  I can imagine the scene now:  "Oy mate!  Gimmie a ten-pence dodecafecta box on 1, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 18, 20, 24 and 30."

Check, please!

[Bonus points to the first person to correctly identify the significance of the twelve numbers above.]

One horse who, reportedly, did not pick up a check for his in-the-money finishing efforts was Vagabond Shoes.  




Twice in the bullrings of Madrid, Spain did Vagabond Shoes scuffle into what evidently was a zero-purse Allowance race.  Huh?  Reading further, Vagabond Shoes, somehow, managed to finish 3rd in a single entry walk-over with a weightless jockey (one J. Crocquevielle) on September 13, 2009.  I will chalk up this past performance line item to "typographical errors" but one can never tell with those inscrutable Spaniards.  ¡Dios mío!

On World Thoroughbred Championship days, the staff at the Daily Racing Form becomes comically indignant at some of the no-hope pre-entries as is evidenced by this comment (below):




You have to love a sarcastic handicapper!



*********

Here's a Pick Six wagering alert from the DRF's Steven Crist for those of you whom are so inclined:


The biggest change could be in the pick six, where there will be no mandatory payout on Saturday this year.  Usually, the two Cup pick sixes have been separated from the host track's meet, with a fresh pool starting Friday and no carryover from Saturday even if no one picked six of six.
This year, if the regular Santa Anita six is not hit on Halloween Thursday, there will be a carryover to the Nov. 1 Friday Cup card.  If no one picks six on the Saturday Cup card, there will be a carryover to the Santa Anita card on Sunday, Nov. 3, which is the final day of the meet and when there would be a massive mandatory payout.  Pick-six enthusiasts might want to arrange their travel and bankroll plans around the possibility of an added day of high-stakes action.

Of course, the foregoing labors under the wildly speculative presumption that The B Team Syndicate does not hit the Pick Six on Saturday.  Stranger things have happened before.  Like every preceding Breeders' Cup.

There are a number of ways in which you can monitor the potential for this mind-bending reality to occur.  One way would be to watch coverage of the Breeders' Cup Classic on the NBC flagship Saturday evening (check your local listings).  Another way would be to check the Carryover Corner page at Equibase.com.  Also, DRF publisher Steven Crist will keep you updated throughout Saturday at his blog.

If any of you rail birds have an interest in organizing a Sunday Syndicate, shoot me an email (or text).

October 26, 2013

The October Flimsy Pretext

On routine patrol this past week in the MINI Cooper Mobile Tactical Unit I encountered the bovine jailbreak pictured below:




This calf realized the grass really is greener on the other side.

On the 17th I spent part of an evening stuffing my face at The Olive Garden:




I had the whole establishment to myself so I spent much of my meal sending photos of my sumptuous culinary selections to Jude.  He was jealous.

My favorite annual publication is the Daily Racing Form's Breeders' Cup Advance.  The Old Master of the Turf picked up my copy today:



Yes.  I will spend dozens of hours over the coming week studying the Form and will joyously treasure every quiet minute.



While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!



The foregoing was, mostly, pretext to get to today's Doctor Who video clips.  Tomorrow, for those of you who may be blighted by a Professional League of American Rules Football (PLARF) blackout of F.C. Bengals, you may find more enlightening entertainment on BBC America beginning at noon on Sunday in the form of a Doctor Who marathon featuring the Tenth Doctor.  Below you will find selected highlights from Series 3 (2007).

Series 3, Xmas (2006) Episode "The Runaway Bride."

Series 3, Episode 7 "42."

Series 3, Episode 9 "The Family of Blood."

Series 3, Episode 9a "The Family of Blood."

Series 3, Episode 10 "Blink."

Series 3, Episode 11 "Utopia."

Series 3, Episode 13 "Last of the Time Lords."

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