Ripped from the DRF Funny Pages

Handsome Mike?  Raced at Keeneland on October 5th?  That's gotta be me!  Odd, though, that there isn't a Handsome Big Randy on the Breeders' Cup race card.  Speaking of Townies, both real and imagined, check out the Dam (mother) for this Breeders' Cup entry:

Hay Jude!  Get it?  "Hay?!"  Even for a Fab Four-hater like me, I found this humorous.

The aspect that I most enjoy about the advance Breeders' Cup edition of the Daily Racing Form is that it provides readers with the lifetime past performances for every horse that is entered, as opposed to the 6- or 8-most recent races that a track program might offer.  It is usually way down deep into the lifetime past performance of a European or South American or Japanese or Australian horse that I discover new and interesting (and often hilarious) things about racing beyond the amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesty.  For example, this parenthetical inclusion into the so-called "trouble line" of a Euro invader:

A Figure 8 race course?!  For horses?!  Cor blimey!

Here's an evocative race name and host-track setting that offers a gauzy, halcyonic aura of by-gone pastoral days:

The 1-mile 196,600 British-pound Royal Hunt Cup turf handicap at Ascot on June 20, 2012.  Your gauzy, halcyonic daydream ruptures upon the nuclear annihilation of discovering there were 30, count 'em, THIRTY horses that broke from the gate (or the corral or the cavalry garrison or the zoological gardens?) for the Royal Hunt Cup:

Among the more traditional fields of 9 and 15, you see the "30" (upper right, above) that raced for the honor of holding aloft the Ascot Royal Hunt Cup in 2012.  I wonder;  Did Ascot offer a ten-pence 12-horse superfecta box..... No!  A dodecafecta box?  I can imagine the scene now:  "Oy mate!  Gimmie a ten-pence dodecafecta box on 1, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 18, 20, 24 and 30."

Check, please!

[Bonus points to the first person to correctly identify the significance of the twelve numbers above.]

One horse who, reportedly, did not pick up a check for his in-the-money finishing efforts was Vagabond Shoes.  

Twice in the bullrings of Madrid, Spain did Vagabond Shoes scuffle into what evidently was a zero-purse Allowance race.  Huh?  Reading further, Vagabond Shoes, somehow, managed to finish 3rd in a single entry walk-over with a weightless jockey (one J. Crocquevielle) on September 13, 2009.  I will chalk up this past performance line item to "typographical errors" but one can never tell with those inscrutable Spaniards.  ¡Dios mío!

On World Thoroughbred Championship days, the staff at the Daily Racing Form becomes comically indignant at some of the no-hope pre-entries as is evidenced by this comment (below):

You have to love a sarcastic handicapper!

*********

Here's a Pick Six wagering alert from the DRF's Steven Crist for those of you whom are so inclined:

The biggest change could be in the pick six, where there will be no mandatory payout on Saturday this year.  Usually, the two Cup pick sixes have been separated from the host track's meet, with a fresh pool starting Friday and no carryover from Saturday even if no one picked six of six.

This year, if the regular Santa Anita six is not hit on Halloween Thursday, there will be a carryover to the Nov. 1 Friday Cup card.  If no one picks six on the Saturday Cup card, there will be a carryover to the Santa Anita card on Sunday, Nov. 3, which is the final day of the meet and when there would be a massive mandatory payout.  Pick-six enthusiasts might want to arrange their travel and bankroll plans around the possibility of an added day of high-stakes action.

Of course, the foregoing labors under the wildly speculative presumption that The B Team Syndicate does not hit the Pick Six on Saturday.  Stranger things have happened before.  Like every preceding Breeders' Cup.

There are a number of ways in which you can monitor the potential for this mind-bending reality to occur.  One way would be to watch coverage of the Breeders' Cup Classic on the NBC flagship Saturday evening (check your local listings).  Another way would be to check the Carryover Corner page at Equibase.com.  Also, DRF publisher Steven Crist will keep you updated throughout Saturday at his blog.

If any of you rail birds have an interest in organizing a Sunday Syndicate, shoot me an email (or text).

The October Flimsy Pretext

On routine patrol this past week in the MINI Cooper Mobile Tactical Unit I encountered the bovine jailbreak pictured below:

This calf realized the grass really is greener on the other side.

On the 17th I spent part of an evening stuffing my face at The Olive Garden:

I had the whole establishment to myself so I spent much of my meal sending photos of my sumptuous culinary selections to Jude.  He was jealous.

My favorite annual publication is the Daily Racing Form's Breeders' Cup Advance.  The Old Master of the Turf picked up my copy today:

Yes.  I will spend dozens of hours over the coming week studying the Form and will joyously treasure every quiet minute.

While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!

The foregoing was, mostly, pretext to get to today's Doctor Who video clips.  Tomorrow, for those of you who may be blighted by a Professional League of American Rules Football (PLARF) blackout of F.C. Bengals, you may find more enlightening entertainment on BBC America beginning at noon on Sunday in the form of a Doctor Who marathon featuring the Tenth Doctor.  Below you will find selected highlights from Series 3 (2007).

Series 3, Xmas (2006) Episode "The Runaway Bride."

Series 3, Episode 7 "42."

Series 3, Episode 9 "The Family of Blood."

Series 3, Episode 9a "The Family of Blood."

Series 3, Episode 10 "Blink."

Series 3, Episode 11 "Utopia."

Series 3, Episode 13 "Last of the Time Lords."

Dat Manager BP

We'll see.

2013 World Thoroughbred Championships

We're just 10 days away from the 30th renewal of the Breeders' Cup aka the World Thoroughbred Championships.  The B Team Syndicate will re-form and, despite our unanimous dissatisfaction with last year's buffet experience in Turfway Park's Homestretch Room, The Old Master of the Turf made the command decision to return triumphantly to its exclusive, crummy-food confines.  It's better than even money that I will duck out of the Homestretch Room at some point and grab a Turfway cheeseburger and fries (which, you might be surprised to read, is really good) for parimutuel sustenance.

The photo above was from my 2012 Belmont Stakes race program, Hyman Roth was entered into a race in the Belmont undercard.  I did not wager on Hyman Roth.  "I know it was you, Fredo!"

You may recall seeing the above photo last November.  It was of The Old Master of the Turf (left) intently observing a 2012 Breeders' Cup race in The Homestretch Room.  By Android standards it's a pretty bad image unless you think of it in terms of Impressionism, in which case the photo is a masterpiece.

Here are two, brief, Breeders' Cup columns from ESPN contributor Jay Cronley who humorously recounts his own, past, Breeders' Cup errors ("Noted") and, next, much as I myself have done over the years, makes a pitch for why you should participate in Breeders' Cup wagering ("Etcetera"), even if only it's a $2 play of the Pick Six.

I always keep in mind those of you who have an interest in horse racing beyond the wagering aspect of The Sport of Kings.  Here is a column from ESPN contributor Amanda Duckworth reporting on the recent Make-A-Wish Day at Keeneland.

While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!

Following the 2005 inaugural re-boot of Doctor Who, the actor portraying the Doctor, Christopher Eccelston, bolted the programme and David Tennant was brought in to portray the Tenth Doctor beginning in November of 2005.  I have been known to be an old skool guy (what's that you say, Phat Daddy?  Reactionary?) in most things culturally, socially, politically and also as it may apply to the world of entertainment.  Being an established fan of the original Doctor Who, I would have been - check that, I was - predisposed to have a bias against the new versions of Doctor Who.  Instantly I was sold.  The first season (2005) exceeded my expectations.  And whereas the Fourth Doctor (portrayed by the inimitable Tom Baker [1974-1981]) had universally been considered as the iconic version of the Doctor, David Tennant's Tenth Doctor has, in my own weighty opinion, set the new standard and in 2006 Doctor Who fulfilled its promise of becoming the best show on television today.

Following are a selection of video clips which will give you a sense of what the 2006 season (or "series") was like:

Series 2, Episode 4 "The Girl in the Fireplace."

Series 2, Episode 4 (conclusion) "The Girl in the Fireplace."

Series 2, Episode 8 (trailer) "The Impossible Planet."

Series 2, Episode 9 "The Satan Pit."

Series 2, Episode 9a "The Satan Pit."

Series 2, Episode 9b "The Satan Pit."

Series 2, Episode 9c "The Satan Pit."

Series 2, Episode 10 (trailer) "Love & Monsters."

Series 2, Episode 10 "Love & Monsters."

Series 2, Episode 12 "Army of Ghosts."

Series 2, Episode 13 "Doomsday."

Series 2, Episode 13a "Doomsday."

"Now storming fury rose..."

What follows is an artillery-specific excerpt from Allen C. Guelzo's Gettysburg; The Last Invasion.  Your own treasured copy can be obtained here.  Considering the theme of your favorite blog, I thought this excerpt would befit recitation on this digital page.

Part Four:  The Third Day 

Chapter 22:  "Are you going to do your duty today?"

When the formidable Henry Knox first recommended to George Washington the organization of an artillery arm for the Continental Army in 1776, his notion involved the supply of just 120 pieces for the entire American service (including fortifications), most of which ended up being shipped to America by the French.  The battle of Buena Vista was won by Zachary Taylor with the support of only two batteries of artillery, as opposed to the seventeen guns deployed by his Mexican opponent, Santa Anna.  Not until the Civil War did American armies begin to make use of large-scale Napoleonic-style artillery forces on the battlefield - the 100 guns used by Napoleon at Wagram, the 94 deployed by Russians at Inkerman.  Even then, at Malvern Hill, the most famous artillery-dominated battle in the war thus far, only 37 Union guns had faced down 16 Confederate ones.  Nevertheless, the impact was beyond anything American soldiers had seen before.  "The fire from the enemy's artillery was truly terrific," wrote one awed Confederate general.  Two and a half months later, at Antietam, Stonewall Jackson held off the Federal attack on the West Woods with 40 guns, and Harvey Hill held back Federal attacks in the center with 50, earning Antietam the nickname "Artillery Hell."

 But in all of this, there was nothing to match the stupendous concentration of artillery which James Walton and Porter Alexander had arranged for Longstreet on July 3rd.  It would be, in fact, the single loudest sound ever heard on the North American continent.  "The noise and din were so furious and overwhelming as well as continuous that one had to scream to his neighbor lying beside him to be heard at all," wrote one of Wilcox's Alabamians.  "Men could be seen, especially among the artillery, bleeding at both ears from concussion."  Ten miles to the southwest, at Jack's Mountain, a signal officer could see "hundreds of shells" bursting, and even as far away as Hagerstown, "we could distinctly hear the cannonading."  In York, "the roar of artillery" was "heard distinctly... at times rapid and heavy."  In Lancaster, "persons who arrived there from McCall's Ferry, Peach Bottom and Safe Harbor" on the Susquehanna "report a continuous cannonade audible at all these points... from the direction of Gettysburg."  One hundred and twenty miles away, farmers in Cecil County, Maryland, and Chester County, near Philadelphia, "looked up to the sky in puzzlement for the source of thunder on a cloudless day."

The sheer noise of the first ripple of fire along the massed line of Confederate batteries, followed by the unremitting blasts of fire from two miles' worth of artillery, beggared description.  Hidden in his family's cellar on Baltimore Street, "the vibrations could be felt" by young Albertus McCreary, "and the atmosphere was so full of smoke that we could taste the saltpeter."  Behind the Confederate lines, teamsters parked "two or three miles away, declared that the sashes in windows of buildings where they were shook and chattered as if shaken by a violent wind."  At the far end of the Confederate line, a Texan in Hood's division thought it was like being "an eagle in the very midst of a tremendous thunderstorm," and compared it to "Milton's account of the great battle between the combined forces of good and evil."

Now storming fury rose,
And clamour such as heard in Heaven till now
Was never;...
...dire was the noise
Of conflict; over head the dismal hiss
Of fiery darts in flaming vollies flew,
And flying vaulted either host with fire.
[Paradise Lost, Book VI]

Or if it was not the noise, it was the incessant concussions and the damage that rippled outward from them.  "It seemed an earthquake would not have caused the foundations to tremble as did the fire of those... pieces of artillery," marveled one Confederate.  A soldier in the 1st Minnesota felt solid shot "strike the ground in front of us and... go on their way growling in an anger too terrible for conception."  So unnerving was the shaking of the ground that "loose grass, leaves and twigs arose from six to eight inches above the ground."  Soldiers anywhere near trees saw "the iron tempest" sheer off "branches large and small" and "strewed the ground with fragments, and placed us in great danger even from falling limbs."  One Federal artillery officer described it as a "deluge of limbs falling from tree tops."

Abraham Bryan had planted shade trees around his whitewashed cottage on Cemetery Hill, and Bryan's neighbor, David Ziegler, had planted an orchard on the west side of Cemetery Hill, beside Bryan's property.  But now the Confederate artillery tore "large limbs...from the trunks... and precipitated [them] down upon our heads... Small trees were cut down and large ones shattered almost to pieces."  Or if not tree limbs, then pieces of fence or housing.  A solid shot struck Bryan's barn and whirled a board through the air, hitting a captain in the 111th New York.  A Federal artilleryman on Cemetery Ridge even caught glimpse of the wheat fields beyond the Emmitsburg Road moving in waves as the unending blasts of the artillery blew it "like gusts of wind." 

The author and his masterful book came to my attention when watching C-SPAN3's American History TV live coverage from the 150th anniversary observances of the Battle of Gettysburg this past summer.  If you have an appreciation for enthralling lectures in history, as any students of Uncle Phil Shriver must, I urge you to spend the better part of an enlightening hour watching Professor Guelzo's Gettysburg Address [sorry, I couldn't resist] here.

While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!

From 1963 through 1989 there were 26 seasons of Doctor Who.  When the programme re-booted in 2005, the season terminology was changed to series.  In this space, over the upcoming weeks, I will highlight each series chronologically with whichever few clips that may be found at YouTube in order to give you a small sense of what the programme is like.

Today, the Ninth Doctor from 2005.

Series 1, Episode 2 "The End of the World."

Series 1, Episode 8 "Father's Day."

Series 1, Episode 11 "Boom Town."

Series 1, Episode 13 "The Parting of the Ways."

Heavy Artillery vrs. Food

Over the past 6 weeks my Android was busy at work taking, mostly, photographs of my visits to assorted Tri-State Area eateries.  What first caught the attention of my Samsung-sourced R2 unit was what - at first glance - appeared to be the latest innovation from the Golden Arches;  The McBar & McLounge:

R2 energetically beeped and blipped thinking the subject matter in the above photo was a new line of Ronald McDonald premium bourbon.  Turns out, it was a selection of flavoring syrups.  Funny way to package 'em!

Back in O-town, I spotted this sign on a sushi joint across the street from the world's greatest Parish Center:

Someone must have been deep into a fifth of Ronnie Mac's straight bourbon whiskey when they created the hours of operation sign above.

In the hours leading up to the Cincinnati Reds 2013 N.L. Wild Card game against the Pirates of Iron City, I preemptively went out for a celebratory steak dinner.  Imagine my surprise when I quenched my playoff thirst with an ice cold Coca-Cola and discovered this unusual Rorschach pattern of perspiration on the napkin under my glass:

Looks like a smiley face to me!  Surely the baseball gods were smiling upon my Redlegs that night, favoring them with nine innings of horsehide glory.  Don't call Dusty "Shirley."

My enthusiastic server brought me an unsolicited second Coca-Cola, working diligently to eke out an additional 2% gratuity out of me.  When later she returned to see that I hadn't touched the second Coke, she bubbly axed me if I would like to have a "to go" cup for my Coca-Cola.  Yes I would!  Here's what she bought me:

There appeared to be a discrepancy in volume capacity.  My server's additional 2% gratuity suddenly was in serious doubt.

Following the pathetic collapse of Johnnie B "Dusty" Baker's Summer Soldiers and Sunshine Patriots, I consoled (or should that read "consouled"?) myself with some chicken and waffles:

The chicken wasn't quite equal to the waffles, but can we not secure bi-partisan agreement that it's hard to surpass a good waffle?

Contrary to perception, I have not spent every waking hour over the past several weeks stuffing my face in restaurants.  I spent the better part of one afternoon cooling my heels in the Jeep dealership's service bay:

Finally, below, in September I took a clandestine spy photo from the MINI Cooper Mobile Tactical Unit of Mr B and Dr James Thomas, D.D.S. (ret.) sharing reminiscences of their glory days as student-athletes and gentleman scholars wearing with pride the red-and-white of Miami University from a half-century before.

While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!

I learned from Johnny Carson the old comedy maxim If you buy the premise, you buy the bit.   That expression of comedic theory, probably, has its roots in vaudeville.  This principle certainly applies to the most iconic element of Doctor Who, the bigger-on-the-inside time travelling conveyance known as the TARDIS ("disguised" as a Sixties-era British police call box).

Here, from 1977, the fourth Doctor explains the trans-dimensional engineering behind the bigger-on-the-inside aspect of the TARDIS.  Perhaps this is what my steak house server had in mind when she brought me the too-small to-go cup?

Viewers of Doctor Who never tire of seeing the reactions of the unsuspecting when they discover this trans-dimensionalism.

The most recent companion threw viewers, and The Doctor, a smaller-on-the-outside curveball when she first encountered the TARDIS during last year's Christmas Day special episode, "The Snowmen."

The Free Money Express Derailed

The elements and track stewards at Keeneland conspired this past Saturday to bring the 9-race winning streak of North American 2012 Horse of the Year Wise Dan to an end.

Reports are that, on Saturday, Keeneland was inundated with nearly two inches of rain in just two hours.  The track stewards moved the Shadwell Turf Mile off the turf and onto the main track.  Breaking from the far outside [#10] post, Wise Dan was forced four-wide around the first turn and ultimately came up short of victory by just over one length after circumnavigating Keeneland's main track approximately 10 more lengths than the winner, Silver Max.

You can watch the heroic effort of Wise Dan here.  Mike Watchmaker of the Daily Racing Form has some nice words for Wise Dan's owner and his gracious attitude about defeat on Saturday.

In the Old World, this weekend also saw the 92nd running of the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe, the most prestigious race run outside the United States.  For the third year in a row, the Arc (as we unsophisticated Yankees refer to the race), was won by a 3-year old filly named Treve.  You can watch a French language race replay here or, if you prefer, a Japanese language race replay here.  This is the report ripped from the digital pages of the Daily Racing Form.

While You Were Out... for the past 50 years!

On November 23rd, the greatest science fiction television programme [sic] of all-time, Doctor Who, celebrates its 50th anniversary.  First airing on the BBC on that date in 1963, Doctor Who ran continuously until December 6th, 1989 when a combination of viewer fatigue, poor script-writing, insufficient special effects and questionable casting ran the good ship Timelord aground.  

I discovered Doctor Who when watching the local PBS station late one Saturday evening in the mid-1980s.  I was hooked instantly and, over the course of most of the next decade, watched and re-watched the entire series of re-runs which aired continuously on that same PBS station.  Imagine my disappointment when I learned the BBC cancelled Doctor Who in 1989.  The programme was rebooted, first, in 1996 with a lukewarm one-off made-for-television movie and then, more resolutely, in 2005 with excellent casting, fantastic scripts and spellbinding special effects.  Since the 2005 reboot, and thanks also in part to the introduction of BBC America, Netflix and YouTube, there has been an explosion of American viewership unlike any time before.

Over the next two months, leading up to the 50th anniversary episode airing on November 23, 2013, I will use this space to link just a few videos each time that will give you but a small sample of Doctor Who.

First, a chronological montage of all the Doctor Who opening themes from 1963 to present.

Second, if you need a primer on the fundamentals of Doctor Who, let your eyes rest easily upon the video tutorial (titled "Doctor Who for Dummies!") of one attractive fan.

If, shockingly, you find hot chicks resistible, here's a different video tutorial from a quirky Brit (is there any other kind?) that's been viewed nearly 2 million times.

The Worst Good Reds Team of All-Time

For those of you who, like me, were listening to the 700 WLW radio broadcast of the Reds' Wild Card game last night during the 8th inning, Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Brennaman gave public voice to something I have been saying privately to a handful of you over the past season or so:

"There are no big-game players on this ballclub."

The Reds roster as currently constructed has many good and great players; current and future All-Stars, a half-dozen or more team Hall of Famers and probably one Cooperstown Hall of Famer.  These good and great players produce impressive statistics over the course of a 162-game schedule for which they should be rightly appreciated, and our four leading position players (Bruuuuuce, Cin-Soo Choo, Dat Dude BP & MVP minus The Brass Monkey who experienced a lost 2013 season due to the shoulder injury which he suffered on opening day and from which he still is recovering) each had superlative, 2013 seasons; two had 100-RBI seasons, two reached base over 300 times, one had 30 home runs.  Three starting pitchers won 14 games, one threw his second career no-hitter.  Both on the pitching staff and among the position players, the Reds have personnel which are regarded as being the best in the National League.

This ball club can win 90 games in its sleep.

But when the days grow short and the calendar turns to October, the wheels fall off.

When in 2010 the core of this then-young ball club first reached the playoffs in the Great American Ball Park era, they subjugated themselves to the Phillies' Doc Halladay and were compliant victims of only the second postseason no-hitter in MLB history in Game 1 of that season's NLDS.  In Game 2 of the 2010 NLDS our lauded defense was charged with 4 errors committed by our leading defenders; one error each by Scottie Rolen and Bruuuuuce, two errors charged to Dat Dude Fan Favorite. For Game 3 the Reds returned home and made their last stand with a 5-hit, no runs, two errors effort and were swept effortlessly from the 2010 playoffs.

During spring training in 2011 we heard platitudes about learning from the experience and being better prepared.  In 2011, the Reds finished third in the Division with a sub-.500 record.  No playoffs.

In 2012 the Reds won the N.L. Central with a 97-win season, a nearly completely healthy roster and every opportunity to claim the franchise's sixth World Championship.  Up two games to none on the eventual champion Giants of San Francisco, the Reds came home needing to win only one of the final three games to move onto the NLCS - home to GABP where they hadn't lost three games in a row all season long - and promptly scored 8 runs over those three games and having reliever Big Boy Broxton give up a heart-breaking go-ahead run to the Giants in the top of the ninth of Game 3 and in the deciding Game 5 Phat Mat surrendered a clinching upper deck grand slam to a guy named Buster.  What killed the Reds in the 2012 NLDS was their consistent inability to hit, to produce, with runners in scoring position.  Jelly-legged pitchers didn't make matters any better.

This spring in Goodyear, Arizona we heard from the players that they learned from the experience, that you can't let an opponent up of the mat, that you have to have the killer instinct, smell blood in the water, keep your boot on the neck of the other ball club and assorted other triteness from 101 Sports Cliches.

In a 3-way battle for the American League Wild Card this season, the Texas Rangers won seven of their final eight regular season games, including seven in a row to force a Game 163 "playin."  The Cleveland Indians, who hadn't made the playoffs since 2007, and who were in the fight of their lives, won 10 straight to conclude their season and hold onto the top A.L. Wild Card spot.  By contrast, the Reds - with everything still to win (Division title, home Wild Card game) - lost 5 straight to conclude their 2013 regular season schedule (including being swept at home by their Wild Card rival Pirates), lost 6 of their last 8 and lost 10 of their last 18 including losing 2 of 3 at home to the toothless Cubs, losing 2 of 3 to the hop-less Brewers and losing 2 of 3 at home to the no-account Mets.  This team was just spinning its wheels since August 13th.

The crucible of postseason pressure causes this Reds team to fold up like a cheap card table.

For the month of September, the Brass Monkey batted .224, Bruuuuce .222 and Dat Dude Show Boat .211.

Over their respective final 10 games of the 2013 season: 

--- The Brass Monkey batted .184 with zero home runs and 4 RBI and with no hits over his last 5 games.

--- Bruuuuuce batted .179 with zero home runs.

--- Dat Dude Style Over Substance batted .231 with zero home runs and only 2 RBI.

--- MVP batted .226 with one home run and 3 RBI.

--- Cin-Soo Choo batted .235.

Homie lost his last two starts of 2013, both against the Pirates.  Fat Mat had two losses and a no-decision over his last 3 starts of the 2013 season. Yo-Yo got hammered at home by the Pirates in his last start of the season, his last start as a Cincinnati Red.  Six-Run Leake lost at home to the Mets in his last start of the season.  Johnny Cueto has started playoff games in three different years - 2010, 2012 and 2013.  His next postseason victory will be his first.

Last night's one-and-done Wild Card debacle was more of the same out of this ball club; no clutch hitting, fielders misplaying routine balls at critical junctures, pitchers who crumble under the pressure of October baseball.  Following our Opening Day defeat this year, I wrote the following conclusion in an email to the Paleo Rider:

I hear [your] position about not extrapolating Opening Day onto the remainder of the 161 game schedule, but  - dadgumit - the last 3 games I saw at GABP (the 2012 NLDS) we played a playoff caliber team (Captain Obvious, here) under bright spotlight, big game circumstances and could not hit with RISP [runners in scoring position].  On Opening Day this year we played a playoff caliber team in the bright spotlight of a big game and went 0-for-10 with RISP.  ALL AT HOME.  Colour me British spelling cynical until this roster proves they can produce runs the old fashioned way; hitting with RISP.

Since moving into GABP in 2003, the Reds have played in 3 postseasons, three of their last four seasons in fact.  They have yet to win a playoff game at home.  The Pirates haven't had a playoff game since 1992 and in their first home playoff game in 21 years they achieve victory for their hometown fans at PNC Park.

The guy I am most sympathetic towards today is my good friend Robert (he lets me call him "Bob") Castellini.  He's doing everything he can to develop, acquire and retain premium players and to bring championship baseball back to River City.  He must have been sick last night by the grim look upon his visage in the late innings.

This Reds roster, as currently constructed, has no heart.  Summer soldiers and sunshine patriots, to borrow a quote from Founding Father Thomas Paine.

Yet..... all hope is not lost.

In 1970 the Reds lost the World Series 4 games to 1.
In 1971 they failed to make the playoffs.
In 1972 the Reds lost the World Series 4 games to 3.
In 1973 the Reds lost in the NLCS 3 games to 2.

A similar pattern has emerged here; 2010 playoffs, 2011 no postseason, then a return to the playoffs in 2012 and 2013.  The 1974 Reds did not make the postseason but their exploits in 1975 and 1976 are legendary and many of the same questions we have about the current Reds ball club are an echo of doubts that engulfed public perception of the Big Red Machine prior to the 1975 World Series.

I see glorious days ahead for the Cincinnati Reds.