Party Planning; Derby Week Edition

I found myself recently at Barney Kroger's and discovered in the wine cellar a selection of vino which should be mandatory for your Kentucky Derby party this Saturday (you are hosting a Derby party, aren't you?):

2012 must have been a good vintage, that was the year I'll Have Another won the Derby (I'll Have Another referred to cookies, but nevertheless.....).  For those of you teetotalers and anti-gambling zealots, 14 Hands is a Washington state winery whose name derives from a measurement of height for a horse (as measured from the ground to the withers); one hand equals four inches.  Thoroughbreds average something closer to 16 hands.  One of this year's Derby contenders is a battleship of a horse named Dortmund.  Various reports put his height at just over 17 hands (and nearly 1,300 .lbs).  Dortmund is undefeated and The Old Master of the Turf says Never bet against a horse that's never been beaten.  Dortmund has a win over the Churchill Downs surface and had a bullet workout last week.  I'm just sayin'.

You'll need some good tunes for your mint julep-and-burgoo soiree.  Everyone naturally considers themselves to be a paragon of music appreciation.  Of course, this is factually only true of me.  As proof, consider the broad genre of songs I rocked recently in the Jeep Main Battle Tank:

 

 

Speaking of songs, one in particular will at your Derby party become a topic of intense interest after the bugler calls horses to the post, that being Stephen Foster's chart-topping hit song from 1852 - "My Old Kentucky Home."  In recent years, broadcasting networks have seen fit to display the lyrics upon the television screen for everyone at home to sing along with the 150,000 singing along at Churchill Downs.  I don't fully grasp the reason why.  Let me say this; all that matters today about "My Old Kentucky Home" - speaking, critically, as a non-Kentuckian - is the melody..... and, even then, it only should be heard as performed by the University of Louisville marching band.  As a purist, some (like Phat Daddy) would say reactionary, in many/most things, the lyrical intent of Stephen Foster becomes obscured because they've been changed.  The song as originally written by Stevie Foster includes certain sensitive, racial terminology which we today find distasteful.  Historians of various stripes may have an interest in what those original lyrics were, but for the rest of the modern listening public there is no strong feeling against this lyrical alteration.  One might argue that once some part of the original has been changed then the whole becomes something new and different thus rendering any or all perceived historical or sentimental connection to the original as irrelevant.  The melody endures and that is what we should appreciate during the Derby post parade.  Further still, among the millions singing along under the Twin Spires or watching the spectacle unfold in their homes around the globe on the First Saturday in May, nearly all are drunk and virtually none know the melody well enough to adequately sing along.  Laboratory tests have proved the only American-penned song which should be sung by those whom have imbibed heavily is GNR's "Rocket Queen."  All those drunks just turn the singing of "My Old Kentucky Home" into an incoherent wreck.

While regrettably I cannot attend your Derby party (thanks for the considerate invitation, though), I am happy to suggest a playlist for your hi-fidelity stereophonic sound system.  You should be prepared for an all-day event and expect that some of your guests will linger well after sunset.

I captured the nearly cloudless sunset you see above in downtown Hamilton last week (courthouse at left).  Inadvertently, I snapped a blurry version of the same sunset. 

Let's call it artistic rather than blurry.

As the host of a Derby party you'll want to demonstrate an expertise in some area of thoroughbred horse racing so as to inform and entertain your invitees.  Heavy Artillery often highlights the scenic and historic Calumet Farm in Lexington, KY.  Last week, The Blood-Horse ran a photographic feature titled Calumet Farm: The Rebirth of a Legend.  The feature is exceedingly light on text but heavily weighted with large, high-resolution photos of horses and horse farm.  If you enjoy looking at photos of horses (and you know who you are), take 5 minutes and peruse the stunning imagery.  And if you'd really like to blow away your guests with some timely #blacklivesmatter information, hit 'em with this story published recently in The Blood-Horse about William Walker, a Kentucky Derby-winning jockey born into slavery and who, later in life, became a leading expert in breeding.

Roll the credits!